Tuesday, December 20, 2011

hold on posts

Sorry gang my computer died, typing from my phone. Ill be back soon though!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I’m losing faith in magic! Help!

(Oh for those of you just having read the last blog I would like to mention the next day after I wrote it I happened to find a five dollar bill on the ground with no one in sight…haha magic!)

There are times when even the most rock solid forces n our life come into doubt. Jobs, family, friends, goals, identity, morals, beliefs and even out magic at some point get called before the burning eye of Doubt. Good! If this occurs it means that you have over time collected enough data through life and experience and it is time to re-evaluate something within yourself. The first reaction is typically a fight or flight response, we either double up and try to blindly keep up with the old way of thinking or we drop it like it is a hot coal and run. What is really going on is that deep within us the soul is calling out for a new gestalt, some new way to express itself and the information and symbols it has attained. The only way to really prevent the fight or flight is to ingrain into the mind that first: IAO baby, life, death, resurrection; second: it is time to rethink my conscious experience and patterns (map) that I have from up to this moment held as actual territory. Remember the green images on the map will never ever be trees. All you have is a map, don’t confuse it with the territory! OK? Good!

So, what the hell do you do next? First, evaluate. Go through old journals, recalling magic practices, exercises, victories and failures. Hit the books! Look back and see where you have unconsciously been moving towards. Compare your old goals and beliefs to current ones. Have you achieved what you originally started to do? If so what are some new goals? Have you gone on a tangent, seeking new goals and leaving the other ones un-noticed behind you? Why? Where the old goals not honest, or possible? Condense your work in the journals as a short timeline in order to see what has been done and what is going on. Then take a few days and not think about it. Come back and look at it making decisions on what should be done and what needs to be sought.

Now that you have evaluated the situation look at the tools you are using. Metaphoric tools that is. Has your experiences in life and magic changed you so that once held beliefs and ideals no longer resonate with you? What are you working with as a symbolic system? Do your tarot cards reflect your actual view of the magical universe? Is there another deck that does? What about the magical system you are using. Does it reflect the view of the universe? When you look west is the associated element meaningfully applied to that quarter? By that let us say we use the classical element of water to reside in the west. Is west a barren wasteland of desert? Hmmmm. Does a hot and dry wind blow from that direction? Uh-oh. You see all this time this information was present in your soul (unconscious for you psych majors) but possibly not in your spirit (conscious or mind, again for the more psych driven chaps and ladies) so deep down in your soul a loud and roaring “bullshit” echoed forth that crept up slowly into the conscious spirit causing you to say “Bah, this magic stuff seems rather foolish!” Always as a magician should we be on the look out where our experience of reality meshes with our map of the magical universe. If not then the reflection of above and below is out of synch and our magic is not as it should be. Joseph Campbell in a series of talks (they are on Netflix and should be studied and watched with deep and penetrating focus) talks about how “primitive” peoples when they entered a new location took their symbolic maps with them, so that the new mountain in the distance is now the home to the gods, in fact it is the same mountain where they previously resided. As they picked up and moved so did their map. Where they lived was always the exact point and center of creation, even if they moved a thousand miles from their previous home which at that point was the exact center of creation, duh! That is what is needed here, a revamp of your physical world so that at any moment you are in “The holy Land.” What now for your ritual tools? When you pick them up do they reflect your current and deep feelings about the force they represent or is it just a butter knife? It should be the most awesome sword of justice wielded by the gods and blessed by angels granted to you because of your representation of divinity on Earth! Even if you did steal it from the kitchen drawer. It should also be current with your views on that element. If it has been a few years since a good charge then create a ritual to recharge your tools given your present insights, memories and experiences with the element. Maybe even craft a mythic story on how it came to you. Doesn’t have to be “real” at all, watch…imagine at this moment that you have a succulent, ripe lemon in your hand, the yellow of the lemon is as brilliant as the sun, you slice it open and the fresh juices run out, squirting, the sharp smell enters your nose and brings to mind freshness, you bring the halved lemon to your waiting wet lips. You then suck the lemon and all of its ripe juice into your mouth. How many began to salivate? If you involve yourself and imagine (oooh man, that word again!) it then your brain cannot tell the difference. In fact most of the memories you have are half true or worse. Your brain pieces memory and fantasy together to make a narrative all the time. I bet there is at least once when you thought something happened only to remember it was really a dream. Who says you cannot use that handy trick to your advantage and make your life a deeper experience? This is in fact one reason why many take magical names, so they don’t mix the epic hero of magic and Bob who works as a bag boy at the grocery store up. Little do Bob’s customers know he is an epic hero of magic! Little does the epic hero of magic know he is Bob the bag boy!

Ok, so we have evaluated our lives, goals and work up till now. Revaluated our tools and metaphoric maps, anything else? As Dom from the movie Inception would say “We need to go deeper!” Let us look at the big symbolic map. Our Tree of Life needs a good shake. For many it is like our Aunt, we keep meaning to visit, but later. What the hell is it good for really (The Tree, not your aunt)? Well, if you have not begun to model your life experiences, memories, ideas, ideals, dreams and personal symbols into it then not good at all. That’s like buying a top of the line computer with a video card and then playing solitaire on it. The tree is a massive super computer just waiting to be loaded up with your stuff! That is the whole point!!! Do several exercises where you imagine the Tree big enough to walk or fly through. Now look at each of the spheres. Take in the whole Tree. Which ones seem off balance, not right color wise, misshapen, hard to see? Which ones seem more alluring, easier to imagine, more fun or exciting? This will and should teach you a lot about your soul-psyche. Now, focus on one, any of them. Think of a emotion, memory, idea, ideal, experience, dream, feeling, book, movie, painting, jobs, schools, lovers, friends, foes, myths, legends, fairy tales, teachers, relatives, locations, monuments, words, states of being, habits, traits, faults, video games, movie stars, pop icons, drinks, drugs, places you wish you could go,whatever and by whatever I mean anything and everything. Now decide if it goes into the sphere you are contemplating. Really feel and experience the energy within you when you focus on the current inner experience, is it heavy, light, colorful, what color is it, how much, where is it at within you? Draw that out and then place it within the sphere. Does anything change? Have fun! Go wild! Experiment! What happens if you send a romantic memory or feeling into Hod? Pay attention to anything that comes to mind once you load a thought into it. Do this for quite sometime, loading all the spheres with at first emotions, memories, ideas, ideals, experiences, dreams, feelings, books, movies, paintings, etc (lets call them experiences from now on) that belong to that sphere and then a few experiments where you send an experience that does not seem right to the sphere to see what occurs within you. Be prepared for revelations and insights and write them down! Once you have worked on this for quite some time filling all the spheres with as many congruent experiences as you can muster leaving nothing left then it is time for the real fun. Explore the spheres! You see, hopefully for quite some time you have studied and patterned the ideas of the Tree of Life into your memory (if not spend two or three years doing that now and come back or create your own tree based off the concept the Tree illustrates and get to loading) but now you have loaded your personality and life into it, brought life to dead bones! When you step into your sphere now, you will have created a half way gate between divine reality and personal, symbolic soul!!! Oh the fun you will have! But wait there is more! Travel from sphere to sphere, don’t worry about the paths right now, enter Yesod and then jump into Binah then leave Binah and take in the experience. Have fun and play, it is a map of your soul and mind as well as a map of the divine soul and mind bound together for you to explore the connections. No book on Kabbalah will ever touch what you have now! Oh, and you should do this for the 4 quarters as well. You may think this is a bit much but this is a HUGE part of magic. There are some chumps who spend their lives memorizing 777 when they should be making their own 777!

Now we have evaluated our work, metaphors, maps, and have a new exciting program to explore that allows us to have direct communication with our personal symbols and with the universe. So, not only have we stitched the wound of doubt but we have created a system where when our maps begin to change we get the first direct message of it from our soul and can begin to integrate the change into our consciousness right away bypassing the crisis of faith. But, what about those already neck deep in doubt?

If you are at the point where you just doubt magic, and no longer wish to practice then first read my blog on magic becoming a chore, see if that is a better one for you. Really, at that point the soul has so much it needs to unfold to you it will take a journey to go through it and live the change. Just go with it, learn what needs to be learned and one day you will come back to it and have a much more deep and refreshing view of magic anyway. It is within you now, just you don’t have the inner language skills to directly read it from your soul so the journey must take place and that is how you learn what it was trying to communicate all along. No seminars, no money, no books, no teachers or adepts can really help. Just follow your gut and do what you *need* to do, grow and from that growth become mighty!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Why have I not won the lottery, become a CEO, become god, gotten that special someone to be my willing sex slave, know all the secrets of the universe

In this blog we look at what are goals are in magic. Many times people take on magic because of reasons such the mystery or allure of power that it promises. While magic does grant power and entrance into the most mysterious of mysteries if this is the only goals one has for it then one will find they don’t achieve much but obscure knowledge and a power trip. Others come to magic it seems because normal society does not seem to fit so they enter in by the door of wanting to be unique or special. Again this can easily be attained without casting a single spell, you see these folks with a plethora of magic books on shelves, magical jewelry, oddly kept hair and beards (the men too!) along with a plethora of magical theories but little or no work done (I once casted a spell, weird stuff happened man!). Dilettantes those are called. After many years of “being in magic” these hangers on by the gate of the sanctum wonder why they have not matched legendary Merlin in sorcery or blown a single thing up with their mind. There are some though, a select few who decide that they want to know magic like a good mate knows their partner. Those true mages who listen to the whispers of Isis and learn how to move her hand in their favor get quite a bit done and they do it by having a goal, a goal that leads to WILL.

It is time you figure out what you *really* want. Sure, you see the girl next door and she may be the hottest thing in town. You melt and fumble your words when she says “hi”, got it, understood. Is she truly right for you though, maybe she is just a pretty face and a gorgon o the inside, and even if she is the most holy creature on god’s green Earth, maybe just maybe the Universe had her picked out for another and has a far better catch saved for you? Now I am not saying “do not do magic to get the girl next door” what I am asking is, what do you really want. If you really want girl next door then get to working bub. If what you want is a partner who will be your match, help you grow as a person and give you the love you need then maybe let us do magic for that instead. Who knows, she may be it! But there may be a girl down the road who have not met yet that makes girl next door seem like a complete loser. So, be honest, set goals you really want. Now, the next question is how do I do that? Right? Well, that is simply being honest and digging deeper then the chattering monkey brain you call consciousness. The consciousness that sees something shiny and wants to play with it is not the one you want to listen to. It will like anything shiny put before it. Go to the place where your heart moves, listen and look with the ears and eyes you use in your dreams, ask yourself and let all the time in the world for it to respond back to the question “What is it I want?” You will know it is right when you go “Oh my god! Of course!” It will be obvious, something like air to your lungs.

So what if you just want a good time on a Friday night? Does magic accommodate selfish fun goals? Does a lover let another have fun and give them treats to be enjoyed? Yes! When magic is a part of you it works in all aspects of your life, the deep and meaningful to the fun and good times! But like a lover it will gladly give when it is taken care of, ignore it and you will not get the benefits!

What now of major goals such as becoming a divine being (for those who say that’s not possible I direct you to the Voodoo Loas, humans who reached legendary status and became elevated to godhood after worship by their people) or becoming a CEO? Big goals require plans, while you could just do some hardcore live in a cave for a year doing magic non-stop kind of magic and hope the world altering results pop into existence within this lifetime (and not cause a reincarnation as a CEO in your next life) you can do magic for each step along the way, a rise to power sort of plan. First find a company you really want to work for, then start doing magic of the Chesed and Tipereth variety for you to be a shining example and leader, to be adored by your superiors and to get the job done maybe some Geburah thrown in too. Each focused on the very next step required to rise up. For divine work (the great work actually) one needs considerable time put in. Slowly but steadily one must become more expansive consciously in order to accept the whole of the Universe. To be able to hold creation within you through working with the angels, archangel and gods takes time and relationship building with those forces until they are a part of you and you of them. Then evocation is not a ceremony, it is a directed thought about what needs to be. A release of will.

What of the lottery? That most prized of willed magics? Well friends, in my early novice attempts and even one or two when I was wiser, I have never one the lottery. Not once! WHY! I mean, I would do well with it! I have one many a scratch off, hell every Christmas my family gives me and my two siblings a handful of scratchoffs and every year save one I won and they lost. That one year my sister actually switched the scratchoffs! But that is not a multi million dollar lotto now is it? My only hypothesis on this is the lottery is like a tug of war, with a few million opponents. Muggles with big dreams and years playing, people down on their luck hoping for salvation, the office pool who will share the winnings, your friends, neighbors, relatives all bending all the will they can muster in the pursuit of winning. Then the few dozen pagans, witches, mages, sorcerers and natural magicians doing the same thing as you. So it basically becomes a game of chance again. Lets talk about money magic though…

I do believe one can work money magic and it work very easy. BUT, one needs to be honest again. Wanting strips of colored paper means nothing in the symbolic magical dimension. Value does, happiness does, comfort and abundance mean tons, but money? It is a symbol for the above things. Essentially most people are doing magic to get a symbol and that’s meaningless. Like eating food to just eat food or playing with yourself just to do it. May be nice at the time but it gets you no where. Do magic for what you want, let money or whatever be the means to get it. Don’t do magic to get a middle man, do magic to get the goal. Want a new car, house, job, boat, clothes then do magic for those things! Anytime I have done money for magic I win small prizes, find twenty bucks flying by in the breeze or a few quarters. It was as if the Universe was saying, “OK, OK we here you! See?!” Now when I did magic for a new house or a new job I got them. I needed and I willed and imagined and I got!

It just came to my attention two paragraphs ago that I keep saying WILL and IMAGINATION and expect you to know exactly what I mean when if I said blue or green and handed you color swatches we would disagree on what colors I was describing. So, as for a wrap up I think I will explain better what I mean.
WILL= not the vein popping, Hulk out face and grunting some would think. Unplug your alarm, or turn it to where you can’t see it. Now, before bed, lay there and tell yourself in a boss voice to the part of you that listens (doesn’t matter if you don’t know what that part is, but it is the magic worker in you, the arrow before the bow is drawn) wake up at ______ time. Know it, as if it is a certainty on the level of the sun will rise and you will draw your next breath. YOU WILL WAKE UP AT ________

IMAGINATION= Now see yourself rising, refreshed and well slept, turn to the clock and see the time as the time you chose.
Imagination is not the flight of fancy or whimsy you may associate with the word, day dreaming of a juicy well made burger is not the magical imagination (unless it is so good it causes you to make said burger or go and buy it) it is a focused, deliberate act of creating visual, auditory, feeling and scents in your minds eye. They exist along the lines of reality although one will exaggerate or embellish certain acts in order to make a more powerful emotional and energetic force. The will is the hands shaping the clay, the clay is the imagination. You take reality as it is and shape it the way you wish, shaping it with the will and filling it with your will to be done. As clear, direct and with as much potency as you have to give it that will be your return investment. You then release it from your conscious mind so it may enter the realm of soul. The astral plane, the realm of soul, then absorbs your creation of will, and using the symbols you used in the shaping it sets out to make what you created reality. Possibly later I will discuss symbolism and how it is used to work magic but that is a whole blog for another time.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Magic has become a chore, what to do?

Like any relationship things start hot and heavy, you constantly pour attentions on the beloved, make time to spend with what fascinates you, and everything is roses and romance. Then, slowly something changes. You do not notice at first because it is still good, great even. But the fire is dimming, things are finding a routine. You sleep in instead waking up early to enjoy time with the one you love. You go out and have drinks instead of staying in and doing what you craved just a short time ago. Then after a few years you find it’s a chore to even look at it, you make excuses, find other things to occupy your time but you know. Deep down you are just kind of tired of the routine, the monotony. I am of course talking about doing magic on a regular basis!

Look, it is a fact of life that life happens. Things are hot and heavy in the start, die off and then what? What to do when magic is laborious? Well, there is a magical formula called IAO that states it clearly. Isis- virginal, fresh, beautiful, magical, the summer heat! Apophis- death, dying, decay, loss, fear, endings, winter, sorrow. Osiris- Rebirth! Renewal! Spring! Resurrection! Everything flows into cycles, the seasons, plants, animals, humans, activities, everything, even magic. The magical formula IAO once it is established within the psyche allows the gentle flow from one state to another knowing that it is needed, required and in the end will make something old and worn out new again. Many fight this cycle, fearing change and transformation. Well friends, I have bead news, the harder you fight it the worse off! You see if you master the cycle you move easily through it and when Apophis comes for us in this incarnation of flesh those who fight will tremble and weep while those who know and work the cycle will smile knowing something grand awaits them. For help in working this cycle into your psyche check out the Banishing ritual of the Hexagram from the Order of The Golden Dawn.

So, in the meantime while you learn and research that ritual let us look at magic specifically and how we can stop magic from being such a chore. First off let us take a drastic measure and experiment, this will be fun! Have you ever sworn anything off? A lover? An addiction? A fascination? Just got sick of it and kicked it to the curb? What happened? Well like everyone else it comes back. That is just a fact of magic people, what we banish and forget will sweep back in. What is buried will rise again, what is forgotten will be recalled. You know it has happened before and if you know magical laws you will see it to be true, raise power, charge intent and release allowing the results to occur. Well friends you have been charging the meta-ritual of “MAGIC” for a few years now possibly and are tired of doing the pomp and rite. Let it go! That’s right! Pack up your books, candles, tools, incense, silks, and journals; delete internet sites, stop reading, thinking and doing magic. Then live. Live your life as a normal person; anytime that goddess Isis calls for a midnight romp in a circle say “No! We are through!” persist and let it all go! Easy as a breakup.

Then you will find a new life, a life without magic or occultism. Just you, as you are. Now and then you will think of your old lover, put it behind and away from your thoughts. See yourself as a normal, everyday person. Learn who you are without mysticism, without the weird ideas, gods, angels, elementals, spirits, demons, sigils, magical alphabets, Kabbalah etc. Just be you as you have not been before. Learn new hobies, watch shows you normally wouldn’t to give them a try, read new books, histories, biographies. Just stay away from anything magic. No fantasy books on magic, no history of magic, no religion, mysticism or occult information. Just let it all go.

Why? Well the brain is a funny thing you see. Common sense would say that as long as you keep studying and learning and focusing on something you will get great ideas and insights. Not true, the longer you stare at something the less you “see” it, it becomes background info, like a smell in your house you have become accustomed to and only after leaving for a few days and upon your return do you smell it again. Same with magic. When we are not thinking actively about a subject, our brains in the background start tidying up. They make connections and insights that you have no clue about. Imagine a whole academy of geniuses in the back of your skull awaiting you to just stop consciously thinking about something so they can get their hands on it and work on it. This whole time while doing magic you have unknowingly been holding back your inner guru from putting the pieces together and gifting you with untold brilliance. This works in daily life too, ever notice when you are trying to recall something you cannot but later when it is out of your mind it comes? Remember that…oh wait, never mind, forget that! Seriously! So, part of this magical break up is about letting the inner parts of your brain take all of the information you have been cramming into your skull about magic, sort it, annotate, highlight, collate, tighten up and weave together something amazing. And just like an ex who you have not seen again get ready because magic is about to come back, and it has been to the gym baby!

After a couple months or even a year break out the books, re-read a few favorites, look over your journals, and look for trends. Do some doodling while thinking about magic, start the romance up again. Let your personal insights bubble up from below like a secret geyser waiting to pop! Honestly you will be amazed at things you have read and missed, even if read a hundred times! Just wait till you get to your journals and realize potent insights into yourself and magic, and when you have a new direction and goals you want to work on you will be in love again!

Now, you can’t keep an off again on again relationship with magic right? No, too many breakups are not good for any relationship. However, you may from time to time want to see other people. I have done the breakup method twice with incredible results but what I normally do is switch to another subject. I will have been studying Kabbalah and then jump to alchemy, then to yoga, elements, magical art, psychology, invocation, tarot, chi, evocation, then Kabbalah and throw in some skrying, magical alphabets and symbolism now and again. Do not try and do these all at once, take each one, devour it, bloat yourself up, take a week break and then jump to the next. In time you will see connections and gain insights on how it is all just imagination and will, that is *your* imagination and *your* will. You will come to a place over time where other authors and teachers are good for a new idea or insight but for the most part it is all yours, and maybe one day you become the true magical artist and your magic is completely yours and effortlessly done to the amazement and spectacle of others.

Another tasty trick to getting more oomph out of your magic is working more deeply on your metaphors and symbols. Anyone who knows me real well and has had the misfortune to hear me yak while intoxicated on something knows that I pepper metaphors and analogies all over even to the point of over doing it (actually just read a few blogs and you will figure that out) I love a good metaphor, why? Well friends, metaphors make magic work. Symbols are the toys of the mage, we deal in symbolism, deeper meanings, turns of phrase and enlightened insightful mysterious speech. Never trust a magician because they can boldly lie while speaking 100 percent truth, words are ours friends so if you don’t play with them and get to know them and love them then magic won’t be as amazing as it can be.
Take a look at your magical rituals and rites. It is time to dissect them. Take every symbol and every word that has meaning and put them all out before you. Write one on each page if you will. A pentagram there, a bornless here, fire on that one, spirit over on that page, on and on excluding the ands, ors, ifs, buts and anything that is just a connector word. We want words with meaning! Now take each one and spend some time with it, write what you know of it, study, research find things out, probe deeper. If you can’t find anything on it then make it up, like some random barbourus word say, Iapos for instance, now sure there is a meaning to it and you should find out and you should at least for a week or so think it is the most interesting word and meaning ever and then forget it like a torn sock. HOWEVER let us pretend there was no meaning. Take a few days and roll the word around in your head, like a mantra, doodle what you think it would look like to meet an Iapos or sculpt it, anything. Sing it in a song. Ask the moon, stars and sun what it means and await replies in your dreams. Keep it enchanted but probe it like an alien on a backs woods hillbilly. When you have it, move to another, say a pentagram. Read up on the oldest meaning you can find, draw them in different colors, imagine them getting bigger, smaller, shooting sparks, flaming, soaking wet, frozen solid, made of twigs, rocks, crystal, clouds, light, electricity, magnetism, feelings, desires, whatever! Just have fun with it but learn it. After each and every one has been done then take a month off and watch some sports or porn. Then go back to magic as usual, see what happens now!
Lastly, and only after you have done all the above. Smoke a little herb after you have centered yourself and stated intent. Relax and when you feel the high coming do your rituals, do this for about a week or two. If you are still high after each ritual then just sit and let insights come. Only do this if you live in a location that does not prohibit harmless plants that grow from the ground that humans have ingested for millions of years in order to have altered states of consciousness in order to magical work. Your government knows what is best, all of history and biology be cursed. Ok my lawyers have said that’s enough.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Justin B’s magic clinic

Alright gang, it has been a while since regular posts and there are many reasons for that (one stated in the previous blog on why it is so difficult and nigh impossible to teach magic through the internet) but a big reason was because I just did not have a clue on what else I could really share that was not readily available in my mind as a resource either in print or online. See, for me I look at magic and think “That $h!ts simple, imagination + will = magic! Done! What more do ya’ need?” It is only from putting the metaphorical ear to the ground and listening to the rumblings of fellow mages and initiates that I get inspiration to fire up the ole’ Word program and type away. Really, this new series should have been fairly obvious to me. For a couple of years I have tried pulling the leash on several people on what to do when their magic either goes askew, doesn’t produce the WOAH results expected or even outright fails. So, with that in mind I will write up a few blogs on how to get magic back to the jaw dropping, pants tightening, blow your hair back level it used to be or should have always been. So, brew up some coffee, get out the notebook and prepare get your fix, its magic time!

In these blogs we will cover the following:

Magic has become a chore, what to do?

Why have I not: won the lottery, become a CEO, become god, gotten that special someone to be my willing sex slave, learned all the secrets of the universe?

I’m losing faith in magic! Help!

What’s the point again or I just don’t have time anymore?

Why can’t I heal myself?

What next?

Is it ok to do magic in my closet or bathroom?

And finally, several experiments to start making magic fun again!

So, join me won’t you and let’s get your magic back on track again!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

New art page


That is where I will host all of my new magical art, spirit portraits and I will be working on talismans from the Picatrix as well as telesma for magical workings.

It is slow going so keep an eye out for new posts

Thursday, April 14, 2011


So, it has been a while since I have posted. Quite a lot has developed in my life, my work and in my personal development that I just did not know what to put here. Also, a big reason I have not posted anything is now and then I am led to take a back seat in sharing information. It is not my destiny to be a big spiritual leader for the online masses and so now and then I have to quiet down for a while.
I have learned quite a few lessons in life recently both personal and magical. The Universe teaches us whether we want to learn the lessons or not and for all except one very hard lesson I was a willing student.
I decided I needed to post something because more so then ever before it seems I have been flooded with requests to teach, heal, guide or assist a person or persons. I can’t. I am sorry but it is just not possible. I would also warn that anyone who says they will teach you magic over the internet has not yet discovered the difficulty (or impossibility) of this task or they do not have your best interest in mind.
1. A teacher-student relationship is a very powerful thing. The teacher must learn the student’s metaphors, manners, personality, traits and be able to evaluate subtle changes within them. This is difficult and time consuming in person, saying nothing for looking at a screen. The student must be able to understand the teacher and what they are trying to teach, as well as apply the lessons they offer. If you try to learn magic and think idle speculation will get you there you fail. It is work, it must be done.

2. A big aspect of the teacher student relationship is the exchange of mental and astral energies when around each other. The teacher should have a higher spiritual frequency then the student and because of the interaction the student has their energy raised to a higher level. This happens in every day life, when you are around people you pick up things from them. An internet teacher-student role does not allow this to occur.

3. Language and communication barriers exist when discussing the mysteries of enlightenment and magic. Two people of the same language, culture and similar experience will STILL have difficulties to overcome in expressing inner mystical experiences (and some are impossible to convey, see my blog “What do you mean?”) so when someone from a entirely different culture and language seeks training this is immensely compounded and far too difficult to overcome (at least as I have seen).

4. The student and teacher should evaluate each other before a relationship is built; they should know how the other lives and operates. Best case scenario they should be friends before and know each other well. This removes many problems that would arise later.

Those are the reason that if you seek me out for a teacher I will have to say that I cannot take that responsibility. My blogs and writings were never meant to be an advertisement for students, they were to simply document and show what I believe magic is all about and in some cases to help others as I have been helped by presenting information that may cause inspiration, guidance and the right ideas about how to do magic.

I would also like to mention that I am not a Bardon magician. I trained in his system, I know it pretty well and I respect, honor and appreciate the system. For the most part I feel it is a wonderful training program but I see its faults. I am a Hermetic magician, I have studied many systems and practiced Golden Dawn magic as well. I for the most part use the Thoth deck in my understanding of the magical universe and the Emerald Tablet is a foundational piece of work for me. Zen Buddhism, Kundalini, charkas and working with archangels and the Greek gods as well as elemental spirits are what I do mostly along with sigil magic. In truth I am eclectic, a chaos magician in the sense that I use what works. I think Fight Club, The Matrix, Robert Anton Wilson, Christopher Hyatt, Crowley, Bardon, Grant Morrison, Spare, Jan Fries, DuQuette, Buddha, and Neil Gaiman teach magic and spiritual truth very well. Also I do not believe in an actual living Buddha or Jesus. I think they are myths to convey spiritual truths about life. They are solar myths. Symbolic.

So here is my advice on magic, real magic. Like electricity it is neither good nor bad, just a force. It can be used for practical work and/or spiritual work. Eventually, with enough practical work you will be drawn to the spiritual side (even if it takes a couple of lives) and that is why magic is like a lover, at first it is physical and lusty, but then over time something blossoms and develops that is beautiful and mysterious. A relationship, a loving relationship with all of creation develops. So here is my practical magic advice
1. Develop the imagination, the controlled daydreaming, fantasizing, vivid, creative, symbolic power of the mind to experience things that are not present in the moment. Practice daily, see colors, hearing sounds, smell smells, feel sensations, taste flavors, then try mixing that up, smelling sensations, seeing sounds, tasting colors…etc etc etc. Don’t just walk down the street, imagine with each step you are walking closer and closer to what you desire, do not drink tea, drink magical power. Be creative, connect the imagination to reality, merge the two…but through will.
2. Develop the will. Say you will do something and do it. Stand still without moving for 30 minutes, when hungry make yourself wait an extra minute or two, challenge yourself. Do this with intent. Set goals and achieve them, even if it takes years and failures. Do not stop to you get what you want.
3. Develop a relationship with the soul/unconscious/dream self/symbolic mind. The part that speaks in symbols. Learn symbolism, through the tarot and through dreams. Develop the skill to interpret any symbol that appears to you and fill your mind with the images of the tarot. When you can merge the analytical left with the intuitive right brain then you have achieved much. Listen to you feelings, pay attention to dreams and your thoughts.
4. Find what you consider to be the highest symbolic representation for what you perceive as divine, imagine it daily, speak to it, make it a part of your day to day life. Truly imagine what it is like to experience meeting a god, do this often and potently making it stronger each time as much as you can. Before magic merge with this symbol. Here is a good hint for those who have no idea where to start. Imagine and experience the light of the Sun, the Moon and the feeling of life out in Nature. If you can experience those three things without the actual image of the sun, moon or nature then there is the divine light of what most would call GOD. Try that out.
5. Learn and master the theory behind the elements and planets. Be able to analyze and evaluate anything from a rock to superheroes to music to your inner life based on those concepts.
6. Connect yourself with the idea of being an aspect of the universe, that all is one, you are a reflection of the divine. As above so below. The entire universe is merely consciousness and when you experience your consciousness it is simply a node or part of a unity of all things.

That is all, do those things and the rest will take care of itself. Good magic to you!