A Wiccan friend of mine read through my blogs and wrote a list of questions she came up with, some she had to ditch because I answered them in later blogs but these are the ones she kept. I thought it would be a good idea to have these since I often get questions and figured maybe others would have them as well. So here is the Q and A!
What was your religious upbringing?
My father was a 7th Day Adventist pastor. I was born when he was in the church but he left soon after. He complained of the Machiavellian like intrigue and politics in the church. He also had issue with any church's view that they had God "In a box" so to speak, that they had God all figured out and understood. This was a man who read the original texts in Hebrew and Aramaic. He KNEW there was plenty in the texts that people could not accept, he knew even further that much of Christian thought came from paganism. So, I grew up Christian, but not your typical Christian. More like, there is a God, his son is Jesus, they love you and life is full of mystery. I can recall the first religious debates I had at a pre-teen age with my father on the nature of evil and the Devil. I thought the Devil had to be a moron to try and be the enemy of God. I mean really, how do you win that battle. Through long talks and reading books like The Road Most Travelled, People of the Lie, Paradise Lost and such I fell into a strong Christian belief but very non-denominational. At that point I thought that God was essentially like a Father figure to creation, he wanted man to rise up and be like him but they could not without an example, so he sent us one. The Devil was not an enemy to God, he was an enemy to man. Satan thought that man was a poor creation and would not submit to God's decree to bow before man as God commanded, therefore he was sort of like the older brother who hated his younger brother and tried to find any way he could to show what poor excuse of a child he was, and when he had the chance give us a good kick. Very Hebrew, very Islam yet I had no real clue at the time. So, I get to be 18 and I decide I should be a preacher, like my father before me. I study through a course on Biblical training and read the Bible again and again. I actually have 3 Bibles for different notes, readings and one is the New Jerusalem English Translation Bible or something, very modern language and stuff makes a lot more sense that way. So, I pass the courses and I am essentially capable of being a minister, I just need to find a church, I never went to any church before! But, for some reason I feel like I need to have a connection to God before I go trying to find a church I can be a preacher at. Like a little flag from God saying "This is my dude!" or even that this is right for me. So, I fast and I pray. I fast for a week and I pray just asking for a clear sign that this is the right path for me, that I should do this. I figured I did my part with the training, fasting and praying, I figured God could just give me a thumbs up in some way. Nothing. I got nothing, not a well placed sunset that made me feel a presence, no whispers, no booming voice, no angels, nadda. To be fair I expected only an inspirational moment or a super Ah-HA! I got zip. Quiet, empty, loneliness. Now, honestly I kinda had experience with spiritual things by then, I had conquered a literal demonic thoughtform created from a powerful involuntary kundalini rise, I had dreamscaped, I had worked with speaking psychically with a friend. I knew stuff to look for, I had given all that up thinking it was not pure, real, valid but not how God wanted to do things. I got nothing. So, I gave it all up. Spiritual pursuits, religion, God, psychic abilities, meditation, everything that I knew as true I threw it away because in my mind I asked God and God said sorry kid. So, that was the end of my religious upbringing. I was still Christian, still believed there was something out there, in the same way I figured aliens must exist somewhere in the universe. They just had nothing to do with me.
What was your moment of clarity in changing your religion?
Well, at this point I decided that I had a longing to explore consciousness and my inner world. So I did chi kung and vital force meditations. I believed in many things, that everything had some truth in it but what good was that, how could we know anything while on this world? I met several Wiccans who worshipped the Greek gods. I thought them a great group of people that I enjoyed being around. I loved discussing all sorts of things with them from fairies, UFO's, conspiracy theories, psychic abilities (I could see auras very easily so I would tell them things I saw during rituals they did.) But to me it was all just fun, nothing like wanting to join their church. Then one night I had an experience when I was sitting all alone under the stars of the universe and all of creation saying "Seek the Truth!" years later I stumble upon a Islamic Sufi view that at certain times of the year if someone is trained right they can hear this call. But right then I decided there was only one way to find out the truth about religion, magic, spiritual matters and everything. Ask the ones who were there!
I took up evocation, I studied, trained and prepared myself to evoke a spirit. I built my ritual tools and it was all based loosely off the Golden Dawn materials. I figured the best place to start would be the four archangels. They represented the four powers of creation and were God's special workers in my mind. I figured if Christianity was right and magic was wrong then the first thing I should ask as a christian facing the mighty archangel Michael was to ask if tat was true, if he told me magic was evil do not do it then I would stop right there. But it had to come from a spiritual source, not a book!
So, I evoked Michael and it was like everything I could not have guessed was the case. It just blew me away. Michael spoke with such depth, power and clarity that you felt the truth. That was when I gave up Christian views forever, decided my views would only be based on experience, on magical and spiritual work, never some book as dogma or another human being as dogma.
Have any of your beliefs changed since you've written your blogs. Would you like to recant anything?
I hearby recant everything. Nothing is true until experienced by you personally and verified by your soul. But seriously, yes my views change as I work, deeper insights, realizations. If this blog is every used in some writing on me one day please know that a couple things I said years ago make me laugh today. This blog is like another one of my journals, I keep it because even though I know I will write something that one day I will know is wrong, at the time it was something I felt I needed to write, something I thought may help inspire or push the reader to try something. That is the whole purpose, to help inspire the reader's personal journey, not to make people think I am some prophet of the spirit world. If I get one person to try something new or just try magic I call that a good day!
You have mentioned to stop worshipping gods, all you are is food. Explain.
Stop spending time fueling and feeding a being that has no relationship with you. That is what I mean (not you personally Dawn lol) To worship is to feed a godform your power and energy. If you do this with no sort of relationship then you are wasting your lifeforce and power. Magical worshipping of gods is like saying, hey lets be friends, date or work together. I give you something you give me something and we grow together. In previous cultures there was always that compact, that deal of, hey we give you stuff you give us stuff. Then over time it shifted to man being a slave race to gods that got feed but did not repay in kind. Never keep an abusive one sided relationship.
Explain your take on where magical powers come from?
Whew! That is a big one! I think that at first they come through the agency of our soul through symbolic communication and emotion, like a poltergeist. The worker has built up a charge of power; unknowingly, and through some desire or emotional excitation it is released to respond to a need. Like the Hulk coming out of Bruce Banner when he is in danger or angry lol. Later on I think it comes from the magician experiencing themselves as the universe, as the gods. The more in touch with the total the more influence they have, the more their imagination is a reflection of the universe the easier it is to cause change.
You have said some pretty untruthful things about Wiccans, what are your thoughts on Wiccans today?
I looked through a search and found my blog Ego Sin-trick was the blog mentioned here. Reading it again, I would not say untruthful. That was my experience with nearly anyone claiming to be a priest or priestess in Wicca. Not saying they all are like that but it was truthful in that it was my experience. In short it just seems like nearly every magic user thinks their magic is the best and all others are less than the TRUE magic which is why I love chaos magicians so much, they work with everything!
What are your thoughts on the afterlife?
I think upon death we have a lot of thoughtforms and energies we hold on to. The soul to return to the astral and the mind to return to spirit needs to work through these issues and desires and will usually go to a afterlife of their dreams, fantasies or fears depending on the need, maybe all the above! However, I think certain desires are so strong we come back to the physical plane to work them out because the astral realm just could not satiate that desire. Hence why the Eastern religions call for non-attachment in order to escape the wheel of reincarnation. Over time spirits evolve and become masters, helping others. Eventually though all spirits come to the point where they can handle merging with Unity and do so.
Do you believe in the power of prayer?
Not as much as the power of magic. It can work if the individual achieves a state that is in unison with the ideal or desire and has a strong enough conviction and imagination...but wait that becomes magic then...
What is your theory on spirits angels ghosts or other ethereal beings?
Hauntings in my mind are mostly astral residue supported by homes and certain geological formations. Rarely do you get a *spirit* of a human that is bound that way. Sure, it happens but rarely. I think most evil hauntings are negative astral forces trapped in a house that allow nasty spirits from the lower astral to play their tricks, certain "tides" of astral energies affecting the condensed emotional energy bound to a location or just fey being protective of their domain, hating certain humans, or just not putting up with human crap since we ignore them and abuse them. I always try to make friends with the fey of an area I move into and always recommend it to friends, even if they are barely believers, like a symbolic gesture. Have not had a problem!
Well hope you all or some of you enjoyed that! Thanks for reading!