Monday, November 10, 2014

The Portal to Heaven and Summer book 2 of the HMS

You can get it in any Ebook format!                             The Portal to Heaven and Summer

Thanks in advance and sorry for the long wait!


So I have not posted a lot of art on here. Some of you have seen some of my works from my books or older images from deviant art. I figured I would show some now in relation to my prior post.

Earlier works from 2008 or so from my first personal Tarot I made.

Here are some portraits I did around that time

Here is a tattoo I did for the girl in the portrait above in red with a crown of flowers (The wiccan who I did an interview with.)
Now here is some more recent stuff I did for my RPG game

Hope you enjoyed it! I had a suggestion to paint my method which I may work on tomorrow!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Book update and other news

Just an update!

The newest book by the HMS has been finished and about to go through the final checks and edits! Once completed I will post the link to it!

Also, contemplating creating a Patreon page and using it to create sigils of spirits, and commissioned works for creating Chaos magic style sigils for others as well, paintings of gods people would like to work with, a comic that would visually explain how magic works, magic art in general as well as just general commissioned artwork of all kinds. What do you lovely people think? Would that be something you are interested in?

I have been working on a RPG based on the ideas of Jung and Campbell. System would be sort of like the Fate system and D6, sort of my own spin on those two. Not magical really just fun. Basically been working a lot on my art lately (I need to start posting some stuff to show you guys) just normal fun stuff and not magically inclined since after my Enochian work I have felt more inspired and creative in regards to just doing paintings and art with some subtle occult influence.

Ok, enough ramble. I will be back soon with more!

Friday, September 5, 2014

Thought Control

It must be THE most asked question to anyone who has gone beyond the first couple steps in Bardon's IIH. I think the problem is mostly due to it being the most poorly explained section in Bardon's book. In some ways it is like a first initiation, a test, if you can figure it out then the rest will seem like a breeze...well maybe all the rest save soul mirror questions. I speak of course of Bardon's thought control.

There is a multitude of things I can say, have said and probably will say on the subject because there is always a new wave of initiates trying to wade through the confusion of this exercise. I answered an email last night and figured it was time for me to make this a blog all on its own to make it easier to digest. Here is the email edited a bit:

Everyone is different, never beat yourself up about your progress as long as you keep at it! What sort of concentration work have you been doing? Do you record the interruptions? Have they increased, decreased, stayed the same, are they as strong as they were when you first started? How long did you practice observation of thoughts before moving on to single focus? What are you focusing on for single focus? What are the nature of these interruptions? These are all important questions you should be asking yourself. What may seem like interruptions may just be interjections along the lines of your single focus. Without evaluation and trying to understand these distractions you cannot properly progress, they are not obstacles, they are lessons!
It is also possible you are not properly understanding the exercises! Bardon says you just to be sufficiently proficient at the task and not a perfect master to move forward. Can you wash dishes for 10 minutes and focus on dish washing and not go off on long tangent day dreams not focusing on the task at hand? While doing this if a thought pops in like "remember to pay the electric bill" that is not a failure that is a success but with one infraction! When doing the morning or night exercise if you pick a line of reasoning you wish to focus on maybe some aspect of the soul mirror and focusing on just that let us consider the following:

Focus on: Positive attitude
What is a positive attitude? When do I experience it? In what situations do I feel it more, in what situations do I feel it less? When I feel it more what traits in body position, thoughts, and feelings arise? Where do my eyes move when I have a positive attitude? What are the color, quality, direction, proximity of the thoughts that arise when I experience a positive attitude? When I have a negative attitude what are the colors, qualities, direction, proximity of the thoughts that arise and how do they differ from the positive version? What are the major factors in my life that I can work on to be more positive, the minor factors?

ANYTHING in relation to the above is a success. However marks against success would include:

What is on TV later (unless that show makes you have a positive attitude, if so why?) I wonder what X is up to later this evening? (Does X bring out a positive attitude? If so why? If you can link it it is a success and not a mark against) My foot is cramping (if you focus on this for a few seconds mark it as a minus, if you focus exclusively on this for a few minutes then a major mark against, if the experience is just there and not distracting you it is a success.)

See what I mean? You may already be quite the master of thought control and not even realize it!

Try a mantra for a week. Focus solely on the mantra day and night, when thoughts pop up, double down on the mantra. Keep it up, it will be hard at first but keeping at it will show your level of ability and strengthen your focus. The mantra does not have to be some arcane magic word, it can be something simple like "Happy" "Focus" Life" "Beauty" "Patience" "God" "Holy" or whatever, think of a quality you want, create an image for it and keep the image in your mind, making it bigger, smaller, closer, farther, change colors, and keep chanting the word in your mind, try and experience the mantra. For example, "Happy" Find an image that makes you happy, keep that in mind and keep chanting happy. Draw the image as best you can, listen to music that makes you happy, watch happy movies all while chanting "Happy" in your mind. You will experience different levels of focus and Samadhi with the idea but that is not the goal, the goal is to experiment and play, to see what happens, to do your best. You will fail, you will lose track, you will have moments of perfect focus, you will get bored, you will get excited. After a week you may feel it is on auto pilot and just doing it to do it, don't let that happen, BE IN THAT MOMENT and really experience it! After this work it should be a lot easier to spend 10 minutes focusing on a single train of thought.

Hopefully that response sets us on a brighter path.

Now let us consider some other things. First Bardon teaches thought control like a contractor explains building a house in the following: first lay a foundation, then supports, then a frame for the roof and once that is sufficiently built, finish the house. A little more detail would have been greatly welcomed by many a student.

Taking in the above email response, let us consider the fact most of us do not understand what thoughts are, where they originate, why they originate and why they take the forms they do. Now there are many good ideas, hypothesis and theories on thoughts. I highly recommend


Drink in the contents of those three links and consider children do not have thoughts, they say whatever comes through them. We learn to create a filter for our thoughts and keep them to ourselves, however we still develop muscle tensions and movements while we think. Pay attention as you read these words and focus on your jaw, throat, face and brow. You will notice slight, twitches and tics as you are reading because it is still "saying" these things just silently.

So, how do we clear out these old thoughts, put our house in order and make it a nicer environment?

So, lets say we are about to do some thought control:

1.Do some physical exercises that contract and release all the muscles in your body several times relaxing.
3. Sit down in asana and begin thought control work.
3.A Start quietly observing your thoughts for a couple minutes. They will slow down after a while, just let it flow naturally.
3.B Select a thought that seems the most persistent and focus on it, exhausting it by thinking on every possible aspect you can think of. Eventually the mind will tire of it.
4.C Allow the mind to empty and any thought that arises just ignore it, eventually none will come. There are several levels of vacancy of mind, the only one truly required is to not have thoughts for 10 minutes. You can move on to the rest of the work. However if you want to go deeper you can reach a state where all experience vanishes and it feels like you are just pure consciousness floating in void, seconds can be minutes, minutes seconds, time does not exist and really you don't either.

If after reading all the available material above, studying it, practicing it and then doing Bardon's thought control you still have problems then ya we have problems. Trust me though, working on all the above seriously then doing thought control is a what should be the first chapter of Bardon's step 1, guess it would be too big a book though.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Goodbye my friend

Last Monday I found out that one of my best friends, a person who helped me tremendously along the path took his own life. Not enough can be said about him. I could write numerous blogs on his character, his beliefs, his love and kindness, how many people he has aided and directed along the path and still never say enough.

He was a friend, a teacher, a confidant, a sounding board, and a mystery. Last night his friends and family gathered together and said our praise and goodbyes. We built a bonfire in his memory, and at its peak a thunderstorm came and poured down a great torrent of rain washing away the fire as the winds blew and the lightning flashed, we huddled his close and felt him there. He reminisced, we spoke secrets, we cried. Through fire and water we are purified. A great light in the darkness has been put out on Earth, taken home to the infinite. Let your journey back be swift and may the blessings you shared here be poured back onto you.

See you on the other side my brother, you will be missed sorely.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Enochian Experiments 10-1

5.15.14 Thursday a bright yellow full moon and a cool clear windy day. I take extra care in my ritual bath, a impassioned prayer before doing an all spirit invoking ritual of the pentagram vibrating EHNB for each pentagram with no trace of elemental force. I then focus on the letter “A” glyph and begin the call at 11:03pm

10th aethyr ZAX

Rolling clouds of white energy roll back to reveal the black void. I drift through pulled ever closer to some lofty idea the whole ritual prior to and during were a mass of forgetting and slip ups like forgetting a procedure or even recording the time even pentagram directions, all seemed like the abyss was trying to prevent me passage, or make me feel like I missed something. After many tricks of thinking I was seeing the vision the realization was that I must focus on divinity alone and not any experience of divinity. Demons appeared, emotions, visions, false achievements, wrong thinking, all flashed about from one point to another all attempts in making me stop. The real demon is the slack or forgetting what is the real goal. At times I would THINK I had achieved it but one must persist in thinking only of and about divinity only when YOU vanish and the Samadhi of divinity occurs has the abyss been crossed. Divinity must be all, all within and all without is divine. I experienced myself as fully divine in the divine realm like an infant crawling I began to fully appreciate my new divine self, all was divine, all was god and made of god. 3 angels appeared and they watched me, they were divinity as I was divinity me watching myself, my ancient divine self experience the new integration of fresh divinity in this realm. I saw all experience as divinity both past and to come, like everything was a spring yet to uncoil into creation yet this was false for there was no tension here, just being. I knew that all that was left was to learn of myself as divine in my realm in oneness with myself and all things as in their divine state.

Note: In this Aethyr and all preceding aethyrs the language used should not be mistaken with the experience. These aethyrs are beyond time, space and experience. Imagine all of it happening at the same time. So if I write I am this and then something else I am both of those things at the same time, yet language and writing demand I describe them in a sequential order and as separate things which is not the case. Opposites are merged; something can both be black and white at the same time, eternal and temporal. The images and experiences in the vision are in some ways just symbolic of the true-real force underlying and informing each symbol and vision. Even this note is deceptive in that it can never convey the reality experienced.

5.16.14 Friday LBRP 10:00pm
9th aethyr ZIP
I am in a lovely field of flowers near what looks like a roman palisade or temple of blue marble stone. A young beauty arrives and embraces me and brings me into the temple which was had a cool temperature and felt holy. I was given a green fluid to drink from a diamond-emerald and sapphire cup which I drained. I was taken outside again and I held the girl. Holding her I felt the whole of creations beauty and love. I realized I was what was behind the visions a unity of divine self, Beauty, and Life. The experience of this vision was preceded by and appeared separate from the true reality of the divine underlying it all. I shift back and forth between the vision and pure experience of divine life, love and beauty. This union is experienced on all levels and realms. I am given a wafer to eat and do so I feel solid here. I feel as if every lover who has ever united is just an echo, a reverberation of this experience here and now, like a groove in a record that is played over and over. I felt it was OK and good to be separate and unity at the same time. Experiences are part of the divine as is the unity in non sequence. Through the entire vision I hear what sounds like a sewing machine or a droning pounding vibration. I return feeling self as divine and as a human being.

5.17.14 Saturday IRP four elements 10:55pm
8th aethyr ZID

Kept rising up and emerging through vision after vision, always higher and clearer, it will stop and show a vision such as a cherry tree with ripe fruit bright red. A dragon pouring out of creation and growing four heads breathing the elements at me and in me as a divine sphere pure above and before me flashes. This all happens in sequential order but the “I” the eternal observer behind it all are within and around it as pure experience. I feel light pour down through me as divine power-raindrops of lightning bolts pour down. I and my HGA are one and I am just experiencing the energetic vibrations of this realm as echoes through eternity. Vibrations in water, but each an eternal moment of that experience. This aethyr is like a refined tuned in frequency of an aspect of myself as divinity I am union but also these little divine aspects, the HGA is the Samadhi experience or connection between the unity and the aspect. The subject and the observer are united by the HGA. The aethyr is a higher aspect of the one prior of the beauty-life principle that makes and is within all creation it is the life in me and in you, experience and the HGA connection to other, the HGA’s speech is the inspirations and impressions in the self, like a universal translator. Felt like all acts were magical acts and any ritual I crafted from now on was worked through the experience of divine unity. When I feel done I closed the vision.

5.18.14 Sunday IRP of spirit. 7th aethyr DEO 10:00pm

Heard through the entire vision a low rumbling of an engine or a huge cat purring, the hum of the creatrix herself like ARUMahRUMahRUMAHRUMahrumahRUMahrum. I saw a dark flame before me and knew it was my divine self staring at the flames of my world-universe like a god skrying in flames. I looked up from the flame and as I looked up a dark goddess a reflection of the brilliance of the creation goddess above her. I saw her and ached in loving devotion as she seductively moved, building passion, giving rise to creation. I felt the god of light through this experience like a light through a transparency pouring his light through even the firey creation goddess of light, I felt the above light descend as the goddess of darkness rose in a colomn, the two met and all creation was made. I saw myself as a star now, picked up by a universe making lover of the divine light, her body made of starlight. From where she picked me up from I saw it was an ocean of black night dotted with worlds, my brothers and sisters in creation. These brothers and sisters would become future stars as I am now. I was washed in the Ether of which the substance seemed like starlight, every inch of my being bathed by this vast goddess above me. When washed I was placed in the firmament of the Ether, into a latticework of golden ethereal fire--around me beautiful star children like myself, we shined our light down on our mother and lover stargoddess and all the worlds below. I shined my light below and was in bliss, desire, bursting life and energy, newborn and in love. All the starchildren were a particle, a round orb of light in the giant throbbing pink-purple goddess body of a next level, a new divine level I became her and again was pure bliss, pleasure and delight for and in all things I never wished or wanted to leave here though I always will be there for I now exist on all levels of creation simultaneously. The vision seeps away and ends but the beauty flows through me for some time in waves of delight and Agape love--I feel a new cosmic awareness beyond what was but a planetary earth consciousness of before into a cosmic and eternal consciousness making such a leap it would be like an idiot reaching stellar consciousness in the blink of an eye. The orders of magnitude difference have no known names for descriptors.

5.19.14 Monday half moon waning. 10pm 6th aethyr MAZ

There is a palace or round coliseum mad of onyx that hinted of hues of green or grey but reflected no light or image. I walked down a long corridor made of the same stone which led to a room made of golden bricks. The room was filled with light as 3 angels awaited the one in the center holding a golden cup. I placed my hand out to take the cup as it was offered and it began to pull and rip at me like I was made of old cloth and a portion had been grabbed and pulled, the cup was doing the pulling and I was being pulled into it by a single strand of my being. It pulled until I was empty of this substance within myself that was no longer in me or me. The three angels looked up and said HAIL 3x’s. I looked into the cup and saw it held the night sky. I was then shown a well in the center of the room and I pulled up a wooden bucket from it by a rope and then drank directly from the bucket the pure waters within. These filled me with new living and eternal organs I was a divine organism, each organ was like a planetary energy condensed. I was led into a chamber and it held black tapestries with red line work for images one showed an archer, another a smithy, another a victor all in all there were 6 images yet I cannot recall them all. Once shown I was brought to an opening with a door. It had a gold brick archway and I walked through the door back into my body which shone in some wild unknown shimmering light that rolled out of me I knew a personal level of divinity and a unique but different sense of self united with my body.

5.20.14 Tuesday could not spot the moon. 5th aethyr LIT

I am in a lotus with four leaves each a color of an element which opens and I am then in a field on a sunny day. Before me I see a steep rising hill. I ascend it and on either side of me are many chalky marble pillars in a row single file up the hill. I walk up to a marble colored floor colored a sky blue and in the center of the round floor is an altar shaped like a large African drum, chiseled from one giant piece of gray stone. On top of that altar is a pillar of fire. Coming towards me and around me are men made of a shining yet dark metal like steel. These jagged cubist like figures the size of line backers seem alien yet angelic. They say I am not yet a god here so they pick me up and place me on top of the altar, into the flames and I see in the flames shapes-patterns as living creatures, joined in a circle then a pentagram and they tell me to step into the central column of fire. I step forward and I do not burn, but flash upwards like a bolt. I am like in a hyperspace worm hole of some kind flying to a crack of light in the universe I enter in crawling through the crack and it feels like I am leaving a heavy, fleshy realm beneath me into a realm of light. I see above me what seems like a sword of epic size and dimension is actually an arrow with a shaft of gold intricate designs with jewels inlaid and atop the shaft is a massive thunderbird or bird god. The whole arrow is large than a building, and it bolts straight into my diaphragm and I die. My spirit rises up and I enter NO-THING but a blissful void of delight and silence. I look upwards and return to a realm I have always existed in the NOTHING and I was NOTHING. Total oblivion but it was ME. I was then like a bullet blasted down and returned to the altar and the world seemed hardened and distinct. The metal angels are there and praise me and I bless them. I expand outwards and can see the whole of creation and experience any level of that creation, almost like looking in a fridge and selecting an item, I felt master over all. I was shown all the connections and ideas connected to various letters in kabbalah which are called in their magical speaking and what they do. The more associations added the deeper and more complete the vision relating to an aethyr or doing magic is. There is a feedback loop of programming the letter then experiencing it causing a deeper experience which causes new programming which leads to new experiences.

5.21.14 Wednesday 9:33pm 4th aethyr PAZ

A hallway that is steeped like a pyramid is before me which leads into a force or energy which shone like a vibrating purple jewel. The radiating force makes all of creation, I then saw the creative matrix within the void and how it overlaid the void. Electric matrix and magnetic void, like a volt in eternity. Infinite regress of levels from matrix to void. All of it making a unity of consciousness within the divine mind. This fractal like pattern of matrix and void, electric and magnetic is also the yin-yang of Self and Other, the “I” constantly projecting from self the aspect of outside or other and then desiring to merge with it, the merger creates a new self which then projects a new other, on and on making up all of creation., starting with Unity, and separation, electric and magnetic, elements, planes and spheres, worlds, people, everything. In this I was the Unconcerned “I” watching all of this unfold within and around me. On this level all things are seen as gods, all aspects of creation are just divinity projecting something new and exploring it. I felt enlightened and in a state of bliss, aware that the void or anything outside of myself is a lie, all is “I” just small projections of my divine self. All is god and all things are god experiencing their projected self as other in a divine union like lovers uniting. All is paradise, joy, freedom, laughter, enlightenment. Sex is just the physical example of the self projecting other experienced as a void out and then wanting to be a part of it, that desire for union that connection is as mentioned prior the HGA, so union with the new self, a new god that wishes to create anew is born. Everyone is a god on all levels doing exactly what they will and want, all is free creative play, Do What Thou WILL really is doing what you want, that is all you CAN do, god on all levels, loving under the will of creation, will creates desire-other-void to love and unite with, everyone is a smiling Buddha, everyone is in Heaven, reality is Heaven because no matter what you are experiencing the divine you chose to experience just that, on the divine level it is extreme pleasure and bliss even in the most tragic of situations because we are all immortal, all gods playing and loving the experience of LIFE. You are literally doing whatever you want at all times; there is nothing else you can do! Even the most seemingly unenlightened person is truly a god in total bliss-everyone is in heaven even if it seems a hell.

5.22.14 Thursday invoking spirit pentagram ritual 9:30pm 3rd aethyr ZOM

I became aware of a vast space--emptiness all about me, I am a transparency held up to the black void, not a form but an outline, I expand and see the ALL and I become the ALL, which is NO-THING then an eye opens, a yellow human left eye. It projects from it all creation out of which I am but a beam of light among all things as beams of light. I then unite with the eye and I am the center of creation. I am the Great and All Seeing Eye. Creating all things as I see them; I create as I see and I see because I create. I am a sun pouring out of myself in all directions. I see three angels in purple robes. One with a dog’s head like a basset hound and two with the heads of dove’s that shined their light on me. I see before me now “B” with a sword in his left hand and a wand of light in his right hand. I become “B” and felt perfect peace and all things as powers of my creative strength. I am both the void and the beyond, the creative directed EYE of Unity. I am the greta magician sitting in the void, the eye of creation having made me to do its will. I place the circle and elements, gods and angels through all of creation to complete my ritual of which creation of the universe is the result. I see each trot card as an aspect of the aethyrs force within, each a representation of my personal creative force, the forces I made. Each card a doorway to that state, to enact my will. My design, my motivation for creating something is my true will and how I experience and create and exist in all things. I then felt a strong urge to swap the Magus card and the priestess cards in their order because the creative void gives rise to me the Magus. I saw TEX as The World card. By creating images or tarot cards representing these forces in the tarot the forces can be visited and experienced, worked with, and by placing them into the experience of others MY will on earth transforms the earth allowing my will and the world to unite, as more people experience this more people will reach a higher frequency so that people experience a higher level of divinity and can create for themselves as they will, just as all artist and magicians who have crafted the tarot have done for all who followed them. The Universe raises in frequency and a new experience is crafted, a new view or perspective on the aethyrs is reached and we all come one step closer to the god-head. The peace yet feeling of power was a very strong feeling, I simply willed and it was. I noticed an extreme pressure on my third eye, creating is what I am, it is my nature my reason for existing. I then felt like I was in my body and my nose felt like it was breaking but it was the pressure from my third eye as if the eye of creation was burning like a hot electrical sun but it was just a slit burning inside my head. I then blessed the body I resided in, my body so it could handle the experience and experience GOD, and my whole body adjusted, I then returned to bodily temporal consciousness.

5.23.14 Friday invoking earth pentagrams (spirit to earth) 10:20pm 2nd aethyr ARN

I was awash in liquid light, I look up and see a crescent moon from which poured multiple colors but predominantly red (The yods from the Moon card reflect this experience in a minor way) I am the Moon card and the slit of the moon becomes the vagina of the goddess which I enter into the flow through her. Her form is like being completely cozy yet an experience of enticement. The entire universe aches to be within this energy, to seek this bliss. She is seduction, rippling energy like wave through matter. I ache to go ever upwards, into and within. I feel like a spark of light, a spark of consciousness, burning bright and eternal. I AM ETERNAL. I felt all experience from all lives, this sphere is behind all, all fades and just I exist, never to be extinguished or go out. I feel a pull even higher to realize that there is a goddess even higher than the one I experienced in the Moon card. The Pure Void before me. I entered her and became her, filled her. I knew only by merging into the concept of OTHER would I experience the TRUTH, so I entered. As I entered all was annihilated, all was just pure void. I was brought back after a time by four angles carrying me on a litter. I sat back in my room. I was protected on all corners for all time. I found the third way between all expansion and all contraction, perfect balance. The idea behind “TH” I was then finished with the vision. During most of the vision I heard a voice so lovely, like nature filled with passion, calling me forward, up, in. It was lyrical, symbolic speech. However the voice was so hidden I could barely know or recall it except for the fact that it was always there, it simply was. Like silent speech, always there, creating invigorating and causing movement in all things.

5.24.14 Sunday IRP with active and passive (electric and magnetic) pentagrams drawn first then the element in the proper quarter drawn after. 1st aethyr LIL
All creation passed before me . All aethyrs were but myself, and I saw them before me like the body of Nuit which was but myself as other. I rose through each one, flying at incredible speeds through the layers of creation each seemingly infinite. I rise through fountains of egg shaped light, each opening to a vast new creative realm, a higher divine state which is just a tiny sphere in a new vast fountain of light, on and on. Each followed a pattern of self-void-god-goddess then back to self and on and on. After some time I was all things on all levels, I saw visions of light underlying and even more pure than the purest vision of white light. Imagine pure white light, blinding showing a vision of god, yet behind it if one focused there was a purer, more subtle yet clearer vision, and once that light was seen one could see a vision beyond even that, making the prior brilliance seem as dung before this new light, on and on. Finally I see a baby before me, in a disk of blue against a jet black (which was once the highest and purest of lights) I see and adore this child before me for it represent the pure, the life, the highest. It was bliss-ecstatic-electric-divine-life of all through all going through us-me-I-all from life to death, feeding new life and such profound life energy, such vast ocean of pure light and life. I felt my being below-the body doing the ritual and I am made new, a new body as this became my new soul and now all these lofty realms became my soul and my true divine self looking through and on new bodies until I reached an experience of God-Body, God-soul, God-Spirit, God-God and all was just pure GOD. Nothing else. An infinity of Nothings mixed with an infinity of light to make a new wave of greater creations making all both light and void, so great was the truth and beauty of this last level, I tried to experience even higher until an angel appeared and said I could go no further, the last would destroy all that is left human in me. So vast a difference between that experience and the I of flesh and blood, which was at a vibration in sync with all of creation vs the crackling divinity threatening to destroy my being. There are higher and greater realms above but before one could even think of experiencing them physical death must occur to go a step higher. The angel finished and appeared to me as all creation in angelic form, a representative from above to protect me below. There was no higher to conceive in this life possibly achievable, this angel behind the veil of creation said to me, the angel of Death, now made lovely and one’s greatest friend and lover. I returned, passing gods of spirit and matter to the here and now. The room was alive with power and creative potential, true spirit the result of my channel reaching the highest above and so linking that highest with this below. The force of this aethyr leads to the cosmic fool, in order right before the World card which now becomes physical death, the highest level possible is but a fool compared to the consciousness-divinity above and only the beautiful goddess Death allows one to pass the veil to experience this. This is the self made god and the god made flesh, the I and the other facing the true unknown, awaiting the moment of final and blissful initiation into pure god beyond even the highest possible conception of divinity. This is why in the fool card it shows him touching the highest, in bliss yet being devoured and in darkness below, a true channel for spirit on all levels. He is pure, simple and yet host of the divine light of above.

Think of the highest and purest duality having merged and looking, awaiting, expectantly with love, desire and hope for their union with the highest. The angel/god of Death protecting us all, giving the universe form is like a lover about to say goodbye to us her long time lover, her partner and friend, to lose us forever in the oncoming bliss and oblivion of true unity with GOD. Death should be respected, thanked and loved for having given us a chance to develop over the thousands of lives and countless stages of development, urging us ever upward to become gods ourselves, partners in the process of creating the universe until we are finally ready to be born into what can only be perceived as total oblivion from this stage, but who knows what lies beyond it, for there is no reincarnation beyond this point, no turning back, no seeing what awaits, it is the true and most powerful mystery from which even she is unable to speak of. She is our final initiator, our gate keeper, our partner saying goodbye forever to one she raised and loved. Will you one day step past her threshold or choose to stay with her one more time?

Enochian Experiments 19-11

5.3.14 Saturday 19th aethyr POP. Prayer, IRP and Call. 12:30pm 1:05pm
Entered a great void and from this it spewed forth billions of sapphires and emeralds in a fountain to make an egg shape container or vault around me. A dancing girl grew out from the fountain with skin made of blue sapphires she wore a skirt that looked like long lotus petals made of rubies she had thick black obsidians for hair. She danced about enticing me, her body flamed with light and shifted from jewel to flesh. We began to touch each other and it would shift from jewels to flesh but was always a jewel like blue color and soft and supple as flesh. We stood together touching and caressing and after a while she went to her knees and began to lick and suck me until I was ready. She rose up and laid down on an altar, I got on top of her and entered her. Around us as we made love on the altar arose 4 gods, one for each of the quarters. Each god seemed Egyptian in their look such as animal heads with human bodies, The Lion, The Eagle, the Bull and a man. We continued to make love in various ways, her skin began to change into a divine light of blue, then green, then to white into a black void of form but still substance. She was on top when I reached climax and I felt my entire essence pour into her. I became mixed with the Goddess and was her. I then experienced divine power enter her, like intercourse, I felt what she felt, the desire to be filled, to experience, to have my void become creation. I orgasamed as a woman and became the energy and ideal of the essence of femininity as the magnetic fluid. I was Void and at Genesis, a pinpoint appeared and became an like a third eye or slit upward pointing then a shaft of light pierced the slit pouring light into me and all things, I was all of creations container and that was all, a pure container. I returned to the room with my aura flowing like an energetic doughnut-egg as described before, a fountain of upward pouring energy that revolved back around, up the central shaft of my being then out and around again. The shaft of upward energy was electric and the egg-doughnut shape the magnetic container, a constant energetic sexual creative experience that makes all things.

I meditated on this experience for a while, the egg fountain, from the pillar of electric fire pouring up’s view to the egg fountain shape and experienced a rosey cross, the arms being this level of experience and below was the pas above the future. Each ring upwards in the fountain represented both a past life and an aethyr, the rings above divine spheres filled with gods below the sphere was material consciousness, the pillar itself releasing sparks and energy to the below was like a magician creating from his will, the merger of the two states is the snake wrapped around the fountain which looks like yods. I felt my chakras within the fiery pillar within me. From this entire experience a Golden Body arose from the many aspects of me merging and flowing through with the Divine SELF. Body took on a new form that was both me and not me, beyond spirit; I then programmed this new body with the ideal of the 7 gods. I then had Ratziel and Metatron program this new body with Hockma and Kether energies, invoking each of the gods and angels to program this body’s experience like aspects of a new soul. A new self emerged from this, a new me, which experienced things as both a god above spirit and the physical body and matter.
P.S. That night I dreamed of a young and very beautiful brunette gave me a stone that had a top, that when opened revealed a silver paste or balm substance, the shape of the stone was close to a five pointed star.

5.4.14 Sunday, 2pm crescent waxing moon. Aethyr 18 ZEN
I was once again floating in space, before me was a cross of light made of deep violet, with a central pillar and four arms pointing in four directions meeting in one central spot. I floated towards it and between two of the arms was an entrance that I entered. There was a long hallway before me, like a hall of mirrors, each mirror showed every divine force, past life, dream or ideal that I currently was or ever had influenced me in some way in this life or my past lives. It was nearly like a kaleidoscope of rainbow colors, each like a painting by Alex Grey. I walked down the hall experiencing each and finally at the end laid a great pit (this led to the bottom of the cross). I had fear at seeing this pit but also the promise of something brand new, something beyond myself compelling me to fall into it. I hurled myself down the pit into what seemed a void. I fell for quite some time, experiencing the despair and fear of annihilation waiting at the bottom. I landed hard and was broken at the bottom of the pit that was this cross, I barely could roll over to face up as I did I saw a lid closing in on me, the lid had faces on it, all faces, of all peoples and it was descending to crush me flat. I was smashed completely flat into a fluid state and was poured out in a long stream through a vast void, a stream of blood and spirit, as the blood-spirit-self stream descended the fluid broke up and dissolved into a finer and finer mist, to which no impurity could hold onto. The refined liquid fell into a stone cup, the Goddess took this stone cup of which I was just fluid and consciousness within, and placed it over a fiery white furnace. My substance boiled and then burned away, turning into a white ash. She blew on the flame below the cup and made the flame a powerful inferno leaving the barest trace of pure white ash left of me. She then poured pearl white milk from her breast into the cup, mixing my remaining pure substance with this divine nectar of life. She continued to apply the flames until the mixture of ash and milk became nothing but spiritual substance, completely pure. My being was then pulled back into space. I stood in space and the planets surrounded me, I saw waves of energy pour out from myself to creation. I then saw a great black triangle of voidness rise up like the Sun or Moon on the horizon of creation; it turned to me, fixing its attention on me. I was picked up and examined by the telesma of “B” the great magician. I was inspected and judged, I was told my karma was good enough to be able to pass on, I was blasted with purple light from the eye and slowly I returned to the room. My new body from POP was burned away and my old body burned away. The entire room blazed with god like power. I gained a new body of flesh made of pure light which was veiled so as not to transform the world too dramatically before it could handle the vibrations.

-At this point I took a few days off to assimilate the forces that poured into me. It was quite a massive change in consciousness. I developed an interest in the astrological forces that made up my chart and therefore my current self and how I interacted with them. Oddly enough I felt the urge to buy a bicycle which I did and rode around town, certainly a grounding exercise for sure.

5.8.14 TAN Thursday 10:35am half moon later tonight.
I travel to a cluster of stars emitting 4 rays of white light and the four elemental forces. I enter the cluster of light and find myself on stage with a stage magician. He places money into a hat, waves his hand over it and doves fly out. The magician then transforms into a woman, strips off her clothes and stands on an altar. She places her hands on the top of the altar forming a triangle which opens a portal that I then fly through. In the portal I hear synthetic music like the theme from Doctor Who. I realize I have ropes or “snakes” connected to my body. Some are thick some are thin, some green some black but all are energetic moving tubes of thought energy. They remind me of those toy snakes with many different segments that when held move and sway about. Before me appears an angel in white who speaks to me and says these forces connected to me are projections of my needs and draw in my desires and this creates karma, to go further I must work with this. I pull each “snake” off of me individually and form it into a sphere of energy. I take the base idea informing the original snake and reprogram it into a higher state so that for example sex becomes pure divine love and the ability to see divine beauty in all things. I then place these spheres into my body, in what I feel is an inspired and an appropriate place. After each is placed they buoyantly float up like balloons in water. They rise up to the crown of my head and float off into a funnel of light above me. The angel then allows me passage further and I notice behind him was the stone altar from the magician-female from prior in the vision. I walk through a field now by means of a path. On either side stands a sharp pointed pyramid made of silver as the road is of a gold color, the two pyramids stand as pylons and from a distance make the whole scene appear as a scale with two pyramids as what is being weighed. The grass is a bright green along the path and the sky a brilliant blue. I pass the pyramids and reach a little fort or castle that is so small could only hold one person , it stands before a bridge over a great canyon the fort is actually on the bridge. The fort is so small but I step in and before me are 3 luminous but not bright blonde men in white. They bless me and tell me things I cannot recall now which raises my energy and makes my bodies pores open and pour light from each pore like miniature fountains of light, I become the egg-fountain light shape. All particles of my being float up buoyantly until I am one with the light. I gently return as they stretch out their hands and send their blessings.
The desire to understand and know myself astrologically has become even stronger. I also feel a strong sexual current flowing through me but it has no actual desire for release like the pillar of electric fire in the pillar.

5.8.14 Thursday 9pm thunderstorm brewing with strong winds. Did LBRP instead of IRP
16th Aethyr LEA

Saw an angel before me and saw a word be produced from light before it which I said the experience was intense and bizarre. The vision opened after I spoke the word which I will not record here. I walk towards the peak of a mountain with a small pyramid before a path like it was standing guard before the path and find a stone cliff hanging with grass clinging here and there, but mostly dirt. Below the cliff I see clouds stretch on forever with mountain peaks protruding out. The bends around a mountain passage going upwards the mountain itself seems like it is just a revolving cone of purple and brown energy racing upwards. On either side of the path stood knights, I walked past them and and then looked up higher on the path a there was a woman with jet black hair, very long and she was riding down the mountain on what one second appeared a goat and then the next appeared to be a dragon. It snarled and caused much fear in all and myself. As she rode down the path she sang a song. My attention moved left and a middle aged blonde king holding a scepter that was all red. He looked troubled and saddened to me. He spoke and said she had come to give and take all things from him, we both looked up at the thundering peak above us, covered in a deep bruised color purple, bolts of lightning blasted about. I decided to walk to the woman riding the dragon-goat, which when I reached her had become a dragon-lion-goat. She was a beautiful queen with and emerald colored gown and her hair became a rich red color and she had a golden crown she said she would give/take everything for/of you. She spoke two words at the same time, like her speech was the union of opposites yet your mind still split the opposition up. She began to switch from her virginal queen with red hair to a femme fatal raven haired enchantress until they merged as one. This merger changed all things through the vibrational state having been raised. She became large, goddess, like Galactus above the Earth, a goddess of void and stars like Nuit.a great and terrible mother goddess beyond man. I fell into her, falling through space and galaxies like a space ship going light speed until all space itself told me go no further it was not possible if I was to stay in this aethyr. It blessed me and I descended back into a rung of consciousness holding the violet black eye of “B” evaluating and judging me it declared I passed and this was the end to which an Egyptian snake headed god came forth and spoke a word to me and I saw the spelling of it and it implored me to speak the word aloud so finally I did so this caused me to return to my body like a feather falling to Earth and the view shut like an iron spherical gate about me.
Instead of the sexual energy I felt prior I now feel enthusiasm as if the vibration had been raised, this enthusiasm is so great I felt as if I could skry all the aethyr at that one moment, like I could see and know all mysteries.
I translated the words looking them up online in Enochian and found they did translate to something meaningful in Enochian which really blew me away, to this point my only outside source of Enochian information was Duquettes book on Enochian Vision Magic. This gave me quite a feeling of how potent this magic was, only once before had I gotten a word in another language that meaningfully translated and that was in Hebrew for my HGA when I first called her. This was two words that translated into a direct statement of magical insight.

5.10.14 Saturday 10:11pm stormy and rainy the entire day.
15th aethyr OXO

I found myself in a semi-tropical environment, palm trees, sand, light patches of grasses, above is a fully lit, starry night sky. I am on a path listening to a river pass by to my left. Before me I see Nuit, feet on the Earth and she stretches upwards swirling stars within her. She draws down the creative ideal and manifests form through her from crown to feet. She is a bridge for the singular ideal divine state to multiplicity that makes reality. I now see the planets roll around the Sun like marbles spinning all within her waist. All creation lies within her form, she has six arms each performing ritual gestures and she moves like a dark Kali goddess. I stand on the tip of her fingernail and walk slowly up her arm to her third eye I look down and cannot see her feet she is so large. I enter her third eye and merge with her I then manifest in my room like sliding down a slide back to my body. I experience the magical energy of creation here, adepts rise up her body as she circulates her aura like a middle pillar rite, I flow with it and keep manifesting in the room, in the fountain ritual I see it as a volcano shooting out red energy (letter D) The vision ends.

I take the day Sunday to explore the various archetypes within the Tarot cards of Liber T tarot that relate to my astrological chart, I do a quick skrying-body of light session with each image, and also work with the elemental make up of my birthday cards as they relate astrologically with the cards (for more info on this I highly recommend picking up the Liber T tarot and reviewing the astrological forces within the minors and majors it is quite useful and a potent key to working with the tarot and how astrology effects us.)

5.11.14 Sunday 9:32pm rain passes and stars peak out from the night sky.
14th aethyr VTA
The vision opened like black clouds being pulled back to show me a golden mountain range at sundown making the sky a deep violet color. I walked on a straight narrow gold rock gravel path and on all sides narrow pyramids with bases that touch the next pyramid cover the landscape as far as the eye could see. Each pyramid was black but had a smoky purple color to it, almost like a shew stone being skryed, if one looked at it for a moment it showed a life, a master, beings of greatness as a ghostly white substance asleep-resting within, like a fetus in a womb. In the center of this landscape was a massive pyramid all other pyramids surrounding it were pale miniatures to its epic size. I rose up into the air and saw it was like an island in space a perfect circle with 4 rows from the edge which made a circle path around the circumference of the island into the island toward the great pyramid. I descended and entered the central great pyramid and realized it was the supreme adept, the ideal of the adept which all the miniature pyramids were a model of, a god-man and all the rest were smaller adepts as past lives to this great adept, every magician and truly every person on Earth will eventually be a pyramid here, being but the tomb or marker for the reflection of the great adept that all strive to become. All built in accordance with what was projected from the central structure. I was then taken up into the sky into the clouds above and met with Tedoand the angelic governor who had clouds for wings and a body made of obsidian stone. He showed me this realm and all others above and below as platforms in space. Built within the central pillar of the egg fountain. We stood upon a bridge like platform made of light now, he took out the most powerful sword of gilded divine energy, it was the sword of destruction. He told me to kneel and would bless me. He “knighted” me, placing three cuts, one on each shoulder and one on my crown each cut was a divet in my body and it began to burn and hurt, the flames devoured my body and all that was left was a body made of Dark Matter, dense space, void as substance invisible to all. I looked down at my body sitting in my room from above, the angel said I could not return to it. I had to focus on the body to move and live but I--my true self had to stay here for now. He taught me how to operate my body from here and I slowly did so. He then opened a door into a room where in the center Ooanamb waited, a figure of burning light that held the shape of all archetypal plants it seemed, truly natural growth. He blessed me and I expanded out, filling creation, then contracted to a point in the cosmos, the eye of “B” was above me in invisible light, I was told it was the judge and director of all and this was him directing as I would direct my body now. I could do as I willed in my body--the eye in creation would do as well above me. I directed my view down, into my crown chakra and entered the network of spirit-biology matrix in which we all live, I took a deep breath and returned.
I took a day off on the 12th and met with my magic friend and discussed my progress so far. Upon the morning of the next day (The 13th) I awoke to find my journal with the 19th call on the floor before my altar perfectly square to it as if it had been placed there awaiting the work to be done, like the spirits were impatient and did not wish to have a break. Again, another sign of the power of this system.

5.13.14 Tuesday 12:09pm windy and hot day, full moon at night.
13th aethyr ZIM
IRP with added +/- invoking pentagrams prior to invoking spirit pentagrams with no element but akasha, felt inspired to do this and looking at notes of vision it is obvious how it affected the vision.
I saw before the vision really kicked off a plant made of light growing, like a fern. Before me a great mountain and around me various flowers, plants and ferns. The entire realm is see through with a violet white light as the structure but through it the violet black of akasha-void. The violet black void is a light or a cloud of energy being pulled up through the structure towards the high mountain peak. The movement of the cloud of black-violet is very fast like a vortex. An old grandfatherly like man appears with sandy-brown mass of hair angular sharp features, he is friendly like an old friend and I think I truly do know him in some fashion as if we have worked together for quite some time, side by side. He told me that this close to the abyss I would have difficulty seeing the aethyr properly, its pull on my being was so great to my soul like a desperate force to draw me up or like a mad with passion lover longing for release. He walks me towards his mansion the mountain behind it which is really just a symbol for the pull and nearness of the abyss. The mansion is a place of peace before the chaos he gives me a drink the color of lemonade but it is not lemonade and once I drink it I see the realm solidify and view its beauty. I felt familiar here, as if I had lived and worked here a long time ago and had come to revisit. We walked out of the mansion to see a lovely garden and the pull of the abyss began to grow again, the pull was quite strong now. I told my old friend who seemed like an angel or a wizard goodbye and walked to the end of this world-island-disk within the central pillar described several times before and focused down and saw a deep grassy force before me and returned.

5.13.14 9:25pm Tuesday night, full moon IRP with all four forces and spirit pentagram in center
12th aethyr LOE
A vast golden desert in full brilliant daylight is all about me, a great rider, a lord in armor with a vast army of robed saints behind him on the right all the saints are robed in white, on the left all in black robes. The lord rides a white horse and his armor shines silver then gold. The army is like a plague of ants near infinite marching towards me. Above me the sun burns brilliantly and its heat blasts down, I see the sun as a dragon and riding the dragon is a goddess as beautiful and mysterious as a thousand moons, she is dressed in pure white which contrasts to her shock of brilliant red hair. The army is now right before me and the riding lord in armor meets me and hands me a cup which is silver inlaid with gold, the cup holds a fluid the color of red wine. I must choose either side or return back from which I came. Above me the goddess beckons me like a holy lover, her desire as pure and radiant as stained glass, holy yet filled with longing. Her words are like a poem from god. I take a dagger and slit my palm on my right hand my blood gushes out into the cup, but the cup never overflows. My body blackens as all life leaves me, I become like a corpse. The goddess takes the cup from the uplifted hand of the lord. I am a spirit above my body watching the scene and I notice my body lays in the center of a pentagram the spirit point pointing behind me the way I had come. She blesses the cup and drinks from it she lets the dragon drink from the cup, the head of the dragon is like a horse and it laps up the blood wine, she hands it back down to the lord and he pours it into me in my mouth. My body rejuvenates as now my mind and spirit enter the empty cup, I reside in the cup like a tiny bug the cup the size to me like a great pool of a galaxy swirling below. I hold to the lip of the cup. My body that was rejuvenated is now a handsome wise man of cunning, old yet youthful, beautiful and innocent. He is a king of men. He take the cup and drinks the galaxy pool of wine and I flow into him a mix of mind, spirit and galaxy flowing through this new me. I start out as just a part of him but slowly flow through all parts and fully merge with him. He is my true self I am radiating like a white cloud of energy around my form, I walk into the group of white adepts-saints-holy men and I am welcomed by both sides, we march onwards and in the marching I-we become a white energy force of light pouring through all of creation making all things and doing good. I see my body in the room as a gateway and light flows out like a river in all directions gently pouring forth I am a gateway for the life force on Earth.

5.14.14 Wednesday 10:05pm 11th aethyr ICH
Huge gates of thick iron nearly black in color open, I walk through onto a land bridge going up and to a small plateau compared to the force before it, this massive force like a wall of energetic hurricane looked like waves of violet light clouds rolling over the landscape dispersing out over the land. This energy dispersed the power of divinity to all things below. The plateau is large but in comparison to the wall of light it seems a toothpick before a tsunami wave. The land holds what looks like an entire city built up as a pillar or ever rising tower-castle that rises to a great height reaching the sun at noon but compared to the reality melting and dissolving wave of divinity before it seems like a speck. I walk along the city; it has a rail along the side of the tower I walk on which is very narrow. Men in armor run about to and fro as if in the midst of a battle, urgently maintaining and preparing at all times. They uphold what amounts to a shield from the unprepared forces rising up against the titanic force beyond preventing it from pouring down unfiltered and held back. I am warned many times of the Abyss before me, that I should not go. I walk to what I realize is a iridescent, multicolored stone wall that is spherical in shape holding back the full force of the waves of the Abyss. The wall reminds me of some sci-fi shield, some advanced technology yet magical. The vibration, light, and noise coming from the shield being pounded by the force beyond is near maddening like one should either run and hide or just end it all and go through the gate which lies before me. This gate is built as a protrusion out from the castle facing the Abyss on a little bridge, heavily guarded with the knights who all warn me not to go further, to please stay on this side. I pass them all and open the gate, I walk through and experience the great maw that opens before me, horrifying and fear inducing yet draws me like nothing else towards it, this feeling of dread and panic mix with awe and a sense of beauty. I stand closer to it and it feels like the entire abyss moves towards me in a vertigo inducing fashion, it radiates me in with its great voidness and magical power. I sense this is all just a veil, monstrous and thick; something could nearly be seen on the other side but is hidden just barely by this eternal void. This other side must be so great, so gorgeous and blissful since this void before me seems like a great destroying ending of all things. I see the abyss and the Demon within it--that is it, Koronozon is the abyss or the personification of it, I see creation creating little “building blocks” of light like pixels raining down making everything from it. To move beyond this one must leave the created mind behind it is like Vacancy of Mind, to move past the Abyss one must not be any-thing. I stand and watch allowing my panic to subside I return and go back so that I now feel ready to enter the void in my next session. I walk back and I am asked to stay and help here, that I am needed to help maintain creation, I want to say yes since their cause seems so noble and honorable, I am moved by their valor but I explain I must press on to the beyond. I finally return and look up again at the majestic view of creation before the massive void like a jutting spear into the heart of nothing. I feel truly like this is the end and there was a wall separating two very different worlds and felt excitement and terror at meeting this new world.

Enochian Experiments 30-20

Having long ago worked with the Golden Dawn rituals I had barely had a brush with Enochian powers yet could say with certainty that I held a respect for its presence. The ritual in which I received a feather from Gabriel was done by using an Enochian call, and as I said before using the SIRP and Watchtower rituals I had used Enochian elemental names from the tablet of Union. Two years ago my good friend and co-worker in magic Chris told me he had picked up Enochian Vision Magick by Lon Milo and said he had used the call of the Aethyrs in order to check out the system, he said the visions were quite potent and different than other work, which from my prior experience I did not doubt. After the work described in my previous blog I decided to pick up Enochian as a way to allow the alphabet system to sink back into my unconscious, with my prior brush with Enochian I knew its power so I figured this would “charge” my new alphabet with potent angelic forces and also wanted to explore a system new to me. I went into Enochian thinking I would just expand my magical information of various systems a bit, nothing major. However, by the 2nd or 3rd Aethyr I had come to see this as a near perfect and life changing system of magic!
The idea developed as I read Lon’s book and read about the Aethyr’s being levels or degrees of consciousness. I figured it would lead to exciting new avenues of exploring the exchange between the above and below. I decided that I would not review any other magician’s views or experiences from the Aethyrs such as Crowley or any others. At the time I began work I had finished a powerful round of Undoing Yourself based on the book Western Tantra and used the system within to paint my alphabet on 8x10 canvases relating to the power residing in the letter and the Tarot attribution. Arrayed with the Fool-A above 7 columns of three rows of paintings meant to link up the cards with the chakras. The result was a beautiful system above my altar of talisman like images awaiting any magical influence from the Enochian system. On 4-15-14 I began the work thinking it would reveal interesting results and once I finished I would have a deeper understanding of magic, what I got gave me that and much more. Following is my journal entries of Enochian magic. After A few skrying sessions I allowed myself to read up on what other magicians had experienced, some were amazingly similar while some slightly different. This further lead me to believe that each Aethyr was a force that selected an aspect of the magician and projected it back at them as a world or landscape in which to explore, enlighten and develop that part of themselves to become a more perfect adept. Here follows my experiences with a selection of 14 sketches I painted to give more clarity to some of the experiences.

4.15.14 9:30pm until 9:59pm full moon with a mars eclipse cloudy and cold.
Purifying bath, prayer, LBRP, middle pillar and call.
A dark sphere solidified on the astral as I vibrated the name of each Governor 4x and then one at a time until I saw the sphere lighten once it lighted up I moved to the next governors name until all had been called and the sphere brilliant. I saw a crystal city of bright yellow in the middle of a desert 4 beings armored in what looked like their respective elements stood before me between the crystal city’s gates and myself. They stood fire, air, water and earth from left to right. I was welcomed and then I noticed the landscape began to change dramatically it began to fill with golden roses, then trees grew, it became warm then winter set in, ice crystals forming everywhere into a hard snowy freeze the cycle of seasons lasted and cycled every few moments, each 4 seasons was a day and then night had its cycle, the Sun and Moon rotating round in round in the sky beyond. The angels spoke during this time, their voice was like an air horn and they smelled of moss. Each took their turns moving me, changing my body positions and blessing me with their elements. They then became swirling light; this swirling is their movement in consciousness of all people. Before the next rotation of night came a vast rainbow appeared, I was blessed again and I became a swirling mass of light. I vision receded and I saw the solar system and FELT the wavelength of ultraviolet light like a purple energy mass, jostling and moving all things. This was the sub-lunar realm, the ideal before manifestation occurred, what was here would soon be made or occur. It felt like an ocean of purple pushing, rubbing, rolling forward. Like being ruffed up but not violent, it was beautiful in appearance through the entire vision I switched from seeing it to being in it. The vision pushed back further and leaving a black sphere with a third eye slit opening was all that was seen, the slit shut and vision ended.

RII 29th aethyr
4.17.14 10:40pm to 11:19 Thursday
Bath, prayer, invoking pentagram of spirit, 19th call, etc

Vision opened to a seashore next to a rocky black stone wall. I enter a cave and find a man in a black robe, he splits into 3, two female on either side and male in center. They unrobed to show chest and face, covered in golden breastplates inlaid with jewels. I was given a cake a cup and a candle all three purifying me in some manner. They stood on a red dragon. We exited the cave and walked into the waves, this too purified me. I returned to shore and was directed to pass through flames after which I felt a strong wind. They tell me they watch the gates of this realm in order to purify and “edit” or “proofread” the above to the below and the below to the above. I constantly heard the roar of waves or a lion or dragon. I tasted salt and felt the part of me that judged, gave value and discernment become clear. I then went up a staircase and went through the gate to my body seated before me.

BAG 28th aethyr. Friday 4.18.14 1:35pm to 2:05pm
Same as before.
As I vibrated the names and aethyr I noticed the astral plane lit up and scenery was becoming apparent. Saw the Earth, the core of which grew fiery and every pore on Earth blew out spiritual fire as an aura about the Earth peaking out by the poles. The flames connected to the Sun which was massive to my vision the flames poured into the Sun and left the Earth. The Sun then pushed all of itself through the channel into Earth. This force burned the layers away from Earth until it was just a core, brilliant compact sun core of white light. It condensed into a golden wafer which I was given to eat and caused my sphere to erupt into a sculpted intricate series of light wheels within my aura. The three governors appeared and blessed me. I was then surrounded by angels who breathed into me the holy mantra “AH” as a welcome. I was shown the throne room of the Holy Flame, a pillar of Holy Flame and I was like an atom to its enormity. I felt actually present in totality before this Flame and as I looked about I saw floating platforms of angels all praising and worshipping this Flame. Its heat burned and was too immense to experience, I felt compelled to jump into it, although the angels and my fear of what would happen was great in trying to prevent me; however, I did so and the heat was intense as my body burned. My body burned to nothing and I was lifted up by the heat, nothing but a consciousness rising up the pillar of light. I rose until I entered this cosmic crown chakra, then I was a magus in the void creating from light realized this experience was me, not a vision, I was there. I created and it was real the feel of the ritual in perfect quality. I looked up and saw pure divine light and again my being was burned away to my core which my previous self, watching the Sun and Earth took and ate as the golden wafer. I was like water, digesting in my body and purified my body which became me sitting in my room, the vision receded as I saw a great mountain before me. I cannot stress enough how perfectly THERE I was, like a child pretending it was overlaid imagination over reality that then became my full experience.

ZAA 27th aethyr 10:15pm to 10:40pm clear night, waning moon, prep as before.
Vision began in a streak of light; I was standing in a waterfall washing me pure. I played in the water feeling the experience all around me, I then swam to the shore to my left and kept thinking about allowing the universe to work with and through me to do GOD’s will. I saw tropical woods to my left and entered into them. I found a path and walked it for some time until I walked into a purple jewel like space. 3 beings of fire stood before me and shined their light into me. The center one placed his hands on my head and blessed me. I saw vast patterns made from light. The 3 stood before me and made a green red bonfire-pillar of light which I could feel the heat of. The vision receded and I was back. The rest of the evening I saw the world as alive, plants WERE fairies or plant spirits come to physical view. I looked up at a planet and saw it as a man walking through space, all I had to do was call up to it and get his attention and his power would flow over me. Reminded me very much of a child at bedtime, seeing shadows in the room and seeing them as monsters or beasts or seeing faces in wood patterns, shapes in clouds, animism and magical thinking.

26th Aethyr DES 4.24.14. 10:05pm to 10:206pm (Finally completed my alphabet of desire paintings which hung above my altar) Thursday. After bath, I viewed paintings from Th to A, then call, governors, and skry then descend from A to Th.
Found myself in a rocky desert at midnight, stars above and a fire before me. Three cave men sat before me, standing they beat their chests to a rhythm to one of the governors names POPHAND. This caused them to become living flames and raised their energy and arms up, which caused me to burst into flame. I rose up and saw various energy barriers which I pushed through until before me was a man on a cross yet positioned like the letter X. He became a light that shined in the four directions of the cross becoming a Sun that expanded all around me. I then saw a 3D cross shape set aright with 4 arms. The body spun around and around yet the eye at the top most point stayed still it also spun upside-down yet this too did not cause the eye to move. The cross grew hands and blessed me, then turned into a king of great fire and light who held a wand, pointed it at me and transformed me into streams of light floating upwards. I was in my room, yet before me was a vortex in the North above my altar, at the end of the vortex was a man in violet flames, it walked towards me and I heard its footfalls, I felt fear as it felt too real, as if the figure would truly be before me physically in the room if he walked out of the vortex. He stood before me now and lifted his hands, causing a bolt of Kundalini to rise up to my crown and set me aflame in pure energy. I traveled back down through the spheres being washed in a deep purple fluid down to my room which was flooded with a spiritual substance. The face of a beautiful young woman in green light hovered before me and with her will she created my surroundings to become a spiritual vibration substance. I was surrounded in it. The vision shut with a great black purple eye closing.

4.25.14 Friday the 25th aethyr VTI 10:15 to 10:35
I was in a golden square room that had a red-gold curtain on the wall before me. Before the wall, 9 steps and atop it a powerful golden throne with a red-sun disk atop it. A king in red armor sat on the throne and on either side a sage, the one on my left in red and on my right one in white representing power and purity. The curtain caught fire but did not burn but accepted the flames. This place was the balancing force of creation. Any movement that caused balance was the force that emanated from this point. It was not the lightning bolt but the electromagnetic exchange that caused it. Balance was this whole realm. We stepped out from the room which was a pyramid supporting an obelisk built atop a cliff overlooking a green lush plain filled with life, beyond the plain was a row of purple mountains far away. The King and I re-entered the throne room and a smithy forged a sword and cooled it in pure water in a stone tub. The sword was rough and was sharpened by a stone made to bring justice. I was told the vision was complete and to move forward. The vision closed.

4.26.14 24th Aethyr NIA bath, prayer, IRP, view paintings, call. 10:50 to 11:25
I walked into a lush garden with a massive tree ornamented in gems and jewels around its branches like a near infinite Christmas tree. I walked for a while towards the trunk of the tree and sitting at the base was a curvy woman wearing a dark black robe. She was very friendly and explained this tree was all life, the tree represented the complexity and enormity of life itself. She then rose up and walked me to 3 angels all aflame and bright, so bright it was blinding to look at them. The ground at their feet burned until it was baked clay and sand, they diminished their fires and all life sprung up at their feet were they stood, they purified life with the highest principals nearly breaking it and the resulting re-growth is a holier and better growth. The ideal of life was this aethyr they all explained to me. I heard bells ringing from the moment I met the angels and the rest of the vision. The vision shut like iron gates closing. I felt a sense of ego, like a hero, as if I achieved something or a sense of gratitude for having arrived.

p.s. I noticed my phone’s battery drained quite quickly after picking it up and checking it twice.

4.28.14 Monday 23rd aethyr TOR 10:00pm to 10:31pm
I walked out of a swirl of energy through a golden door onto a hilly plain. Before me a pyramid so great the top was nearly hidden in blue haze. I walked down a golden rode to the base of the pyramid where people toiled on the structure. I found myself high up on the pyramid when a dark skinned man offered me fruits. For some reason I felt great doubt about his intention and called to the highest spirit to test his nature, the vision flashed and I was in a room with many books on shelves. I was faced with 3 angels in black silk covering them yet they were so brilliant they shone through it making it near transparent. I called to spirit again and the cloaks vanished leaving only pure light. They spoke and said this aethyr was the movement of emotional energy, its control and command. Mind above emotion with a strong sense emotion caused motion. They took my hands and placed their hands on my head, blessing me. I was told I had achieved all of these spheres all that awaited me was my understanding and blessings within them. I was pulled back into golden light and back to my body.
p.s. After I noticed the light beside my bed dimmed and went out an hour after the ritual. As I was going to bed I did not change the bulb and the next day it was on, I asked my S.O. if she had changed the bulb and she said she did not, light has since worked without issue.

4.29.14 Tuesday 22nd aethyr LIN 9:57 to 10:16pm
I walked on clouds that seemed like thick packed ice, they surrounded a mountain peak that rose to the eternal above, almost as if the eternal projected all below through a cone and that cone was this great mountain. Along the peak was a rainbow bridge like a great circle and beyond lay the void. I gazed I gazed back and forth between the void and the mountain peak and clouds below and I heard panpipes very softly played from behind, I felt a bestial intelligence like presence, base but cunning, looked back and saw Pan, thick, shaggy, face more like a hamster with small horn protrusions at the back top of his head, all white and wild hair. I jumped upwards to the void, I entered a transcendent mind frame, it was a laser like focus yet eternal pure spaciousness. I landed back into temporal space and jumped back and forth taking an idea such as divinity and being inside what seemed like the akashic depth point and being that thing thought of, yet also eternal and beyond any idea. I finally returned and a lantern appeared before me the light of which returned me to my body.

5.1.14 Thursday 21st Aethyr ASP 11:22am to 11:53am
Vision opened with a cross of light in the shape of an X with the center being a sphere of light and each point on the cross a flame of light radiating out a dim light from all points. I was in a garden with rows of trees on either side, glistening with light which was a fluid but light at the same time. Beneath my feet were stones that seemed to flow like water but were firm to the touch. The sky above was a pure blue with stars somehow still shining in the sky. I walked a path and before me was an ancient angel of near white blue skin, diamonds for eyes , white straight thick hair which seemed made of clouds, he sat on a white stone throne. The angel never moved just spoke in communed in thought. I was told to merge with myself and I discovered I was the angel. I sat where he sat and we merged, creating a sphere. I was a star in a pale blue lilac sky surrounded by other stars just as I, all adored a central pillar of light with cross arms moving all the stars in order in their orbit. That was divinity which itself was just a star in the eternal sky of GODS MIND. I returned and stood before my angel self whos’ hair grew rich, thick and black, a beard and thick mane of hair. I was a part of this being as a pinky is a part of the hand and whole person. We were all mingling projections of god and beast, projector and projected, eternal and now, one and many. I returned down the path feeling myself as a thought projected outwards. I stood before a tree and realized it was me; all these trees were my past lives, each eternally growing and being experienced in the now. I became one with my tree and one with this life seeing a pyramid shaped door, made of wood instead of stone close. The four sides closed in and a central cap was placed in the center. I knew that the divine pillar connected me still, moving me--arms stretched out moving all stars in their orbits. This god seemed like a beast-titan-god-man almost alien to this universe but the cosmic order and template for everything and was the meaning of the crosses in Enochian and human myth.

5.1.14 same day, 20th aethyr KHR just did prayer, call and vibration. 10:05pm to 10:25pm

I was raised up in spirit and I stood upon space itself, below me burned the sun, ahead the Earth and Moon. I focused on Earth and saw it spiral into a disk as did the Sun and as I watch all of the planets formed disks of light but material light, forming patterns through which the stars shone their down through them to the earth. The progressive layers make denser disks of light and the patterns within them either blocked some light or allowed it through to do the same to the next layer. When they aligned they let more light through to the Earth warming it in divine rays. To Earthling view trying to perceive the god was a near impossibility, even god working miracles is just in an analogous way like an imagined light or a photosensitive cell firing in pitch black to the true potent brilliance of GOD above. I watched the light beamed from the stars to each other as a communion of their message and nature. All of this was the disk of the cosmos I spoke of in LIN. I looked up and wished nothing but to ascend forever upwards but was held back by a knight in impossibly thick obsidian armor highly detailed and carved, he had red wings. He told me to witness only this for now which I did. After a time he said I had done well and gave me passage to higher spheres. He placed his hand on my head and brilliant red light poured on my head from his hand. I returned to my room but the room still held light, like crystal shards making a wind-chime around me, I felt the urge to transfer this light to the core of the Earth, pushing more and more down until light poured out in concentric ring layers of golden light to the surface. A lovely angel appeared and gave a blessing through me to the Earth and I thanked all spirits, I blessed all things and the vision ended.

My Alphabet of Desire

For quite some time I have been working with the idea of an Alphabet of Desire ala' Spare. I have created several in fact, working with them in order to find what works, what works better and what is dross. Those that own my book Telesma have a set that works incredibly well and from what I have received comment wise in emails and discussions they seem to work well for my readers as well. But as many of you know, I am rarely satisfied and I am always tinkering, experimenting and trying new things out. Last year I got a book on magical alphabets and 80% of it was useless but they did have some gems within it. I took that and worked a new Alphabet based on the books idea that the sound of words relate to forces active within the universe and words that start with certain letters will naturally express that idea when you allow your unconscious to recall those words. So take for instance the letter "A" what you should do is sit quietly and focus on the sound with a pen and paper handy and just go wild writing every word with the letter "A" you can think of. No looking up words or checking a dictionary. Every "A" word that pops in your head whether refined or crude should be placed on paper. Once done go back and you will find that the essence of the word is reveled. Depending on your experience, development and training you will have mapped out the thoughtform of what YOUR letter "A" is. Now repeat for each letter. I made such an alphabet and it was quite useful indeed. I then took that essence found in the free-association of words and tried to symbolically portray the essence or thoughtform. After the work was done I put it away for a while in order to let it sink in.

While I let that alphabet go about the alchemical processes of dissolution back into the deep unconscious or return to the soul (however you prefer your metaphors) I worked another system of magical symbols. This system was based on making a sigil or glyph for each tarot card. Each one had to be simple and elegant yet express the idea behind the card in a tight packet of recognizable information. One does not even need the tarot cards to do this, in fact just use any book on the cards to work off the ideas and not the image provided in the card. Once done I took other magical concepts, life needs, wants and desires and made symbols for those. Such as magical weapons, spirit animals, thoughtforms, archetypes, godforms, dreams had, whatever you like to work with ending in over a hundred individual "seeds" as I began to call them. Some ideas repeat but that is fine, as long as they house a slightly different view of the concept it is all good. These seed ideas could be placed in conjunction with each other or united to create talismans, elementals or thoughtforms needed for magic. They are quite useful and I recommend trying it out! I found their favorite utility (at least for me) was aiding me in doing automatic drawings. I would place a few "seeds" like sigils in front of me or on the page as a border. After focusing on the images of the seeds I would then begin doodling and drawing while in a state of receptivity (nothing mystical here at all, you do it when bored or when you are on the phone or in class all the time, you just start doodling without a plan of what it is you are drawing, just draw, no judgements or rules.) At the end I would have some powerful magical images that when reviewed by fellow mages recalled sigils from Bardon's PME mixed with automatic drawings of Spare but uniquely my own. So, say if I wanted to learn some deeper mysteries of magic I would place seed sigils along the page relating to what I wanted: magic, occult, skrying, teacher, truth, insight, dreams, mystery, gods, trance, etc and then focus on each. Once I got into a state of passivity I would draw whatever popped into my head even if it did not seem at the time like it related at all. I would keep drawing until I *felt* done. At the end I would see a completed image of fully realized of what I wanted to work with. I could then take that image, and meditate on it, ask questions, skry it, mentally travel through it like a doorway or just set it up and allow it to inspire me. Either way it would work on me and speak to me through inspiration.

After a thread I was in on Reddit relating to "Undoing Yourself" I discovered that Hyatt had written a book with a few more exercises such as those found in "Undoing" in a book called "Secrets of Western Tantra" a book I highly recommend you get and work. Especially while high! While the exercises are amazing and should be done (no excuses!!!) What really caught my eye was his ideas about the Major Arcana, how they relate to everyone's physical and mental development and character as well as the archetypal forces they hold. He also arrays them in a very neat way, the Fool being the Divine level and then three levels of the cards arrayed in 7 steps (which I will show you in just a second.) The 7 steps relate to the chakras and really once I saw it it is a beautiful and well put together view of the majors that left me amazed. So, what do you think I did? Thats right! I made a new alphabet of desire based off this system after doing another round of Undoing from the book. This one connecting the 4 levels with the 7 chakras, my personal life development and all in relation to my personal growth and history. These images were quite powerful and meaningful I must say. But then something happened, my magical image that I had created in the previous step relating to auto-drawing, which I made as a source of magical inspiration like a teacher or essentially a mouthpiece for my magical self to speak through spoke up. It told me it was time to produce my Magnum Opus of magical alphabets, my true Alphabet of Desire. It explained I was to take all prior images, all my old works whether intended for magic or not and condense them. To give you the full grasp of the amount of work this entailed I was taking drawings and sketches I had done back in high school along with dream journals, magical journals, Bardon's kabbalah, Hebrew Kabbalah, Runes, Enochian letters, Magical Alphabets of great magicians and witches, Sanskrit, notes on every language on earth, cave drawings (look it up there is a surprising use of similar symbols in primitive man's art through out the entire world all at the same time, some obvious like the circle some surprisingly weird) previous alphabets I have made, visions I have had, and all the prior seed sigils and alphabets I have made, A magical alphabet I created on the thoughtforms produced from speaking the sounds ala Leadbetter so that the trained imagination when speaking "A" produces a shape and color and so on. I complied and condensed these images to their essence, doing artistic alchemy on myself and the worlds language from the dawn of man till now. I had huge single sheets of paper with all images and how they related to each other. Having them all before me I saw connections and ideas in harmony I had not ever noticed and that were quite surprising. I then procured some really great magical herbal supplement, raised some fiery enlightenment of kundalini, drew down holy light and began work.

I took each page and while higher than a bird's hat in a state of magical trance I looked at the images all connected together by some basic idea, (the core idea being the one found in Western Tantra for the tarot majors) and looked for unifying shapes, similar patterns, taking these all together I then allowed inspiration to unify them in my soul and produce an image that seemed holy and perfect to my soul. You know it when produced because it seems to move, have life, it seems both a part of you but also alien or other, like encountering a new life form. From this I produced my Alphabet of Desire. So perfect were they that I had to paint each one on canvas and hang them on the wall above my altar. This is what they look like:

So, now you can understand a bit why I am not such a prolific poster on this blog, I keep pretty busy magically speaking haha. I hope this blog and the next few coming up immediately after help my readers satisfy that need for new blogs to read! Thanks again dear readers for your views and your time.